Join the band

2010-01-03T12:43:00.002-05:00

Along with all the posts below, I updated my weight tracker. So, you can see all the damage I've done over the last few months. My lowest was 205 but on the first I was 222. I knew the January 1st weight was partly bloat from too much salty food and alcohol. So as of this morning I'm down to 217. I even had to correct my goals list on the side of the page since I'm no longer 40 pounds down. :( This too shall pass.

NEW POSTS!!!

2010-01-02T22:42:00.002-05:00

I just updated and added about 10 posts going back to September. So, you might be inclined to look back...a lot of things have changed over the last few months.

Seen "It's Complicated" tonight. Great movie. Very funny. I don't like Alec Baldwin but have to admit he was very fun in this movie. I went with my mom and my friend Paula. Then we went to Cracker Barrel for supper. Did well with the eating because I just couldn't eat much tonight. I took at least 3/4th of my meal home. My stomach must have been full from the apple cinnamon quakes and water that I smuggled into the movie.

I also had a awesome workout at the Y today. I'm proud of myself for actually going in. There was a swim meet at the Y so there was no where to park. I made a trip around the parking lot and found nothing. I pulled out to go home and guilt got the best of me so I turned around and parked at the dentist office down from the Y. Did 21 minutes on the crosstrainer, 31 minutes on the treadmill, and 8 minutes on the bike. I even ran 10 minutes out of the 30 minutes on the treadmill.

Year in Review

2010-01-01T22:41:00.000-05:00

So, should I do the obligtory year in review post?

Since my old laptop crashed last year with all my past weight loss data, I don't even really know what my weight was in Jan 2009. I do know I'm either the same weight or a little higher. I was moving along pretty good until my mom's diagnosis of cancer. I don't want to use that as an excuse but rather a reality that there are more important things in the world than trying to be thin. Life happens and sometimes your hopes and dreams have to be put on hold.

Things I've accomplished:

* Walked/ran another half marathon
* Attented the Cincinnati Spark Convention
* Over came some of my fears to experience some adventures: parasailing and hiking

Things I'd like to accomplish in 2010
* Continue to get into smaller clothes
* Take more chance and step out of the box I put myslef in
* Work harder on running...Run a 15 K in March
* Have some more adventures...traveling maybe skydiving !!???!!

2009-12-28T22:40:00.000-05:00

Ate right, got my water in and exercised. Yeah! It helped that I only worked 5 hours today. We are slow. Hate the paycheck but love being a lady of leisure.

Although, my leisure may not sound leisurely to most. I spent 1.5 hours at the Y. 20 minutes on the crosstrainer, 20 minutes n the recumbent bike, 30 minutes starting my running triaing on the treadmill. I ran a 4 min walk/2 min run split. I say leisurely because I took my time changing clothes, took water breaks and didn't feel rushed. Usually, I'm looking at the clock thinking about all the things I need to accomplish at home before it gets to late.

Spent a couple hours tonight on the internet though. Reading e-mail, collecting sparkpoints, and cruising facebook. Going to jump on the wii biggest loser and see what I was suppose to do today. Yesterday was a rest day so I imagine it had a workout slated for me but I think I've had enough today. I can tell my legs are going to be sore tomorrow.

2009-12-27T22:39:00.000-05:00

Been MIA lately. the only thing I have kept up with lately is facebook. Been busy with work, christmas prep/parties, and helping mom out. December was a bust for my health.. Completely ignored taking care of myself until yesterday.

Mom had her first chemo treatment and ended up in the hospital for 4 days. Then she had another on on the 23rd and with lots of meds this one had going a lot better. She's even thinking about going back to work. I'm advising against it. She had a pretty stressful job and she just doesn't need that. She still have 2 more chemo treatments and lots of doctor's appts.

Christmas was good. I got money, jewelry, sweatshirt, and gas card. Health related...I bought myself a Wii with the fit plus program and the biggest loser program. I started the biggest loser last night and it is a tough workout. It included push-ups, planks, jumping jacks, tri-cep dips, hill climbers.... TOUGH! I also found a 15K race in Cincinnati at the end of March. I think that would be a perfect distance to train for. If anyone else is interested http://cincinnati. kintera.org/ faf/home/ default.asp? ievent=318888 It's sponsored by the American Heart Association.

Now let's work on making it a great 2010. (It has to be better than 2009)

2009-11-10T22:37:00.000-05:00

I found my energy again. I've made it to work by 7:30, had productive days, made it to the Y, cooked healthy meals, and relaxed in the evening. I've even got in the routine of taking care of my skin at night. I've always had the nasty habit of going to bed with my make-up on. Since I've been thinking about 40 creeping up, I've been noticing the fine lines around my eyes. So, I've been washing my face at night and moisturizing at night. I've also been soaking in the tub with some really good smelling bubble bath that makes my skin feel great. It the time of year that my skin dries out like crazy.

Ah...And I've also been logging all my food.

Tired of being tired

2009-11-01T22:36:00.000-05:00

I've been totally off kilter with my mom's problems lately that I've really neglected myself. It's been 8 weeks since my step-dad left and 6 weeks since she found her lump. BTW, she is having surgery tomorrow. Lumpectomy with radiation to follow if all goes right.

I haven't put any real effort in working out or dieting. So, I'm ready to get back with it.

I went back to the Y yesterday and did 25 minutes on the recumbent bike and 20 minutes on the elliptical. My diet was good but too many "liquid" calories. I don't do that very often though. And I did shake my booty. I didn't dress up for halloween but it was great seeing all the others. I love to people watch.

Today, started out slow. Thank god for the extra hour this morning. Spent all morning rehydrating and trying to get rid of a headache. Went out walking thinking that I wanted to walk for at least an hour. Well, it felt so good that I changed my mind to "let's see how far I can get in an hour". So, after weeks of not walking or running at all, I jogged a good bit of my "walk". I just took it telephone pole by telephone pole. Ended up doing 3.7 miles in an hour. That's an average of 16:16. The last .7 miles were the slowest with only a few slow jogging stints and my walking was gettting slower.

Mixed bag

2009-10-20T22:35:00.000-04:00

I'll fill you in on the latest and greatest in my life.

Work is good. A new employee started today and has been able to relieve a lot of my stress. I manage the therapy dept in a skilled nursing facility. We've been without a Occupational Therapist for 3 months. So, I've had to beg, borrow and steal OT staff from other facilities. There hasn't been anyone "in charge" of my OT department so everything has fallen to me. I now have a OT for a 13 week commitment. That will get us through the holidays. Maybe she'll like us enough to become a permenant employee.

Mom is still just in limbo. She had a ultrasound on the area that showed up on the MRI in her right breast and they couldn't find anything. So the next step is a MRI/biopsy on Tuesdaythe 27th to see if they can find it again on the MRI. I'm hoping it was just a fluke on the MRI and there isn't anything there. I can't believe we have to wait another week. The MRI tech is on vacation. On the husband front, my stepdad wants to come home. He's decided he made the biggest mistake of his life and he's racked with guilty that mom is going through this without him. But mom is sticking to her guns and not allowing him to come home. He hurt her alot and she just can't deal with her marriage problems right now.

My vacation was much needed. It wasn't the best time I've ever had but it was good to get away. The weather was cold and the race didn't have the outcome I wanted. But I started on my Christmas shopping at the outlet mall. And I got to talk to one of my old guy friends on the phone on the long car ride.

The scale is going down! I lost weight during vacation. I can't really explain it but food has just been easy for the last week. I've been getting my water in. Exercise will hopefully follow. Exercise is usually not a problem for me but the weather has me having to shift gears from outside exercise to indoors. Having said that we are having a warming trend and I think I'll walk outside tonight.

Well....that's all for now.

More bad news

2009-10-13T22:32:00.000-04:00

I have so much to news to add but no motivation to write it all down. We found out that mom's lump is cancer. We met with the surgeon on Tuesday and he sounded hopeful. We talked about a lumpetomy and radiation. But as a precaution he decided to do a MRI to make sure it was contained to one lump. Well, we got the results today.......another suspicious spot on the other breast. So, she's off to have a ultrasound on thursday and possible another biopsy. No surgery until they have all the facts. At this point, my mom wants me to go ahead and go on vacation. I go to Charlotte, NC every fall for 4 days for the NASCAR race. On one hand, I don't want to be far from home incase I'm needed. On the other hand, I really need a break. We probably won't have any word on the ultra sound until Monday. So, they won't be rushing her to surgery while I'm gone. The next few months may be rough. Maybe I need to get away and have a bit of fun while I can.

I know people go through this every day. Cancer is a common diagnosis. But I'm so scared. I lost my dad when I was 8 years old. So, I think I'm entitled to have my mom forever. My mom needs to be there when I find mr. right. She was always gong to walk me down the aisle. I want to give her a grandchild. I feel like I haven't done half the things I want to with my life and I want her to be there when I do these things.

While my life is getting better..my mom's is falling apart.

2009-09-29T22:30:00.000-04:00

The spark convention has spured such hope in my life. I've exercised 4 days in a row, I've ate healthy for 4 days, stress is managable at work, and I feel fabulous. I even drove back into town tonight to get my workout in at the gym.

But on the other hand, I'm so hurting for my mom. My step dad asked for a divorce 3 weeks ago out of the blue. Well...maybe not out of the blue. Things have been changing over the last year but nothing that we didn't think could get better. Then last week, she found a lump in her breast. Monday she had a ultrasound and mammogram. Tomorrow, I'm going with her to have a biopsy. I'm trying to convince myself that her body is just screwed up from stress and she had a cyst pop up. Don't know if that is possible but that's what I'm holding on too. I'm scared out of my gourd so I can't image how she is feeling.

If any of you are praying people please pray for my mom.

Spark Convention

2009-09-27T22:24:00.001-04:00

The Spark Convention was just what I needed to Spark renewed motivation for this journey. It was great to hear all the success stories. Chris Downie, the founder of Sparkepeople, is a ball of energy and you couldn't help feeling energized listening to his enthusiasm. He's created a great company that is truly all about helping people. I like that they are constantly looking for member feedback. I was very surprised by Nancy Hand's presentation. To me nutrition can be a little dry and boring. Nancy is a Registered Dietitian and uses humor to get her point across. I really got the message that I need to plan my meals and grocery shopping a little better instead of eating on the fly.

The best part of the convention was just the energy and camaraderie among all the people. Everybody was at very different levels of fitness but the message fit everyone's life.

All this energy has translated to two very good days for me. Calories have been 1245 and 1388 for the two days. As far as exercise, yesterday, we got plenty of exercise with al the activities at the convention. Today, I walked 2 miles in 35 minutes. I'm working on water as I speak...(er..type).

My goals for this week are to exercise at least 15 minutes everyday, to drink 32 oz of water and keep my calories under 1500.

2009-09-25T22:17:00.002-04:00

I'm attending a Sparkpeople Convention tomorrow in Cincy. I use Sparkpeople website to track calorie, exercise, read health articles and meet people. The day starts with a morning walk, presentations from the founder of sparkpeople, nutritionist, and coaches. We get lunch and several exercise breaks including some yoga.

I came down early and am staying in a very nice hotel. I think it may be the nicest I've ever stayed in. I got the convention price of $105.00. I'm use to travelling a lot but I usually travel on a very low budget. For example, when I go to the races with Paula (my BFF), we stay at Comfort inn. She has a rewards card. So we often earn free nights. When we go to Charlotte in October we are staying 3 night...2 of which are free. The night we are paying for is $40.00 each.

This room has a living room area with it's own plasma TV, couch and chair, dining table, fridge, microwave. Then you have a nice sized bathroom. And then the bedroom with another plasma TV and my huge king sized bed. My only complaint......why do nice hotels not have vending machines with snacks in it? Their is a pop machine but no snacks. I didn't really eat supper. Had lunch about 3:00. So, I'm a little hungry. There's a restraunt in the lobby but I don't feel like eating alone. Guess I'll survive until the free breakfast tomorrow. I won't starve.

2009-09-22T20:54:00.002-04:00

Guess, I'm not the kind of person that can stand "tight". I went to the doctor today. I was hoping for a tiny unfill. But he took the whole 1/4 fill that I got in August out. Guess, he only does quarters. The first two weeks of fill was okay. But right before my period 3 weeks ago, I tightened up and never lossened up again. I've thrown up 3-4 times a week, had heartburn for the first time since surgery, and I haven't been able to eat anything before noon. I haven't been able to eat solids before about 2-3 in the afternoon. I haven't had solid protein for weeks. Anyway, I just couldn't hack it anymore. The good news is I lost 9 pounds according to the doc's scales. I've learned to eat less along with following the rules better....I just hope I can keep doing that after this unfill. At least, I should have a little more energy now.

If this doesn't work the doctor wants me to call him back and will do a fill under floroscope.

2009-09-20T16:11:00.002-04:00

See...I am updating more than once a month. LOL!
I'm going to the doctor on Tuesday. My fill I got 5 weeks ago has really tightened up on me. I spent the 2 weeks around my period bearly eating liquids and mushies. I haven't been able to eat solid protein since i got my fill. It's been shredded chicken, peanut butter, cheese and whey protein. I can't eat in the morning so I've been drinking ensure. And even that pools in the back of my throat. So, I'll probably be getting an unfill on Tuesday.

This week has been very emotional. My step-dad asked my mom for a divorce on Sunday. He moved out this weekend. And they are going to a laywer tomorrow. It's happening so fast. My step-dad is an acholic that has been sober for 20years but overthe last year he's started again. I guess now he just wants his freedom to drink as much as he wants away from my mom's judgement. I just don't understand. I know about addiction. But there is nothing I would ever do to jeapordize my family. There would be nothing that would make me throw away my family. But maybe I'm too idealistic.

It's been really hard on all of us. But especially on my sister. She's worried about telling my niece and her baby not having a grandpa. My sister doesn't remember my dad..so it's really the only dad she's ever know. It's also hit me harder than I thought. I don't tend to let people close. But over the years he has became the closest thing I've had to a dad since I was little.

Can't remember if I mentioned that my sister is pregnant. She's the due the day before I go to Bristol next year. I told her she has to have it early. She insists on not finding out what she's having. My mom and I are trying to convince her to let us find out so we can start shopping for pink or blue. She had sold all her baby stuff last year.

Well...more later

2009-08-31T21:09:00.002-04:00

Back again...but with good news now.

I finally got a fill. I spent so much time think that I wanted to do this with the bare minimum fill. Well, after going 10 months without a fill, I only lost 4 pounds. Actually I fluctuated about 10 pounds. Anyway, I bite the bull and got a .25 cc fill on August 11th. It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow and I've lost 10 pounds. YEAH!!

I've also been so active lately. Hiking, walking, biking. I took a small vacation to Bristol to see the night race. Here are some of my "firsts" this summer: parasailed, rode in a helicopter, joined a hiking club, and bought a pair of size 14 pants that fit! I'm wearing 16's in most pants but they are all getting looser.

Also, I'm on a serious hunt for a man. I seen my ex-boyfriend with a girl about a week ago and it finally gave me the nudge to get over it. Suprisingly, it didn't hurt. I was sincerely happy for him. I've known for a long time that he wasn't good for me. We never wanted the same things. No real prospects yet. But I renewed my eharmony account, have the word out that I'm up for being introducted, and I'm stepping out of the box--meeting new people. I went to a dance Saturday night where I didn't know anyone but my sister. Seen a lot of eye candy but most were either married or under 25. Also, Sunday I met 11 new people in the hiking club.

So,......you see I've been busy. I'm not even going to say I will try to update more. I'm not making promises I may not keep.

2009-07-19T19:02:00.002-04:00

Back again....from another vacation. This time I was in Ft. Myers, FL for 4 days. Can you say, "HOT". But it was great to get away. I did things on this trip that I never would have 40 pounds ago. I para-sailed. I wore tank tops in public. And I wore a sleeveless sundress in public. Shopped in many regulart shops and found things that fit.

That being said my weight in the last month has hopped back up between 213-216. So, I'm not out of the 210's after all. I'm feeling so confident lately. The exercise is a part of it. I didn't skip a day of exercise on the trip...even in 90 degree weather. I walked on the beach every morning, even when I wanted to sleep in.

I'm try to blog more.

2009-06-02T22:19:00.002-04:00

Here's a pix I took this morning. I wish I could compare this to my before pix. My laptop crashed and I got a new one but I still need to take my old one in to see if I can get my pictures off it. At my support group tonight I was the spotlight. So, I had to talk a little about mu backgroup, why I had surgery, successes and struggles. I created a four scrapbook pages worth of photos and took my half-marathon medals in.

2009-06-02T20:59:00.005-04:00

Long time ...no post.

I've gone on another vacation since the last post. Went to Charlotte for the annual NASCAR weekend free for all. It was so much fun. Saturday was our frist whole day in Charlotte. Paula and I met up with our friend Scott from Florida. Scott drove us around from race shop to race shop, stopped at Lake Norman to dip our toes in, he took us out from Breakfast and Dinner. And we ended the night at Whiskey River ( Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s bar). The next day we sat through a rained out race. And then monday we sat through a rained delayed and shortened race. Drove all the way home and got home at 2 AM Tuesday. Then I had to be at work at 7:00. It took me all week to recover. I think I'm getting old! I did get exercise in on 2 of the 4 day I was away. The eating wasn't bad but I consumed to many liquid calories.

2009-04-19T11:08:00.000-04:00

Seems like life is never normal. Just when I get going on a good schedule, I have something else going on. Tomorrow, I'm leaving for Memphis with my mom and sister. My mom really needed a vacation and we've never done the girl's vacation. So, my sister and I sprang for a trip to Memphis. We're going to Graceland, a cruise on the mississippi and a night on Beale St. It's a short trip. I'll be back Saturday night/Sunday morning. Should be a lot of fun.

I don't know when I'm going to get a long run/walk in. Maybe Sunday.

Signed up for the biggest loser at work and a new session at the Y. We had a banquet for last sessions Biggest Loser and I lost 8 pounds since the first of the year and improved on my cardiac endurance test.

I'll try to update after vacay

2009-03-29T22:52:00.003-04:00

Okay..I looked and the last time I was this weight was over 5 years ago.....December 2003. It's signficant because my niece was born then. I remember feeling so fat when she was born and thinking I didn't want Lucy to ever remember me as her fat aunt. She's 5 now and starting to form memories that she will remember so I better get cracking. Even if she doesn't remember her fat aunt there are plenty of pictures out there for her to see.

2009-03-29T14:35:00.001-04:00

For some reason I couldn't get this very big but you can click on it and see the details. You can also create you own at http://www.wordle.net/

2009-03-28T12:23:00.003-04:00

!!!~~~209~~~!!!

I'm out of the 2-teens. My appetite is not back yet so I'm trying to ride it out. I'm so auxious to be out of the 200's. I need to go back through old journals and see how long it's been. I bought a size 16 Levi on vacation because I forgot to pack long pants. They fit snuggly. And actually made me feel quite hot!! Well, having a guy admire me and whisper sweet nothings in my ear helped too. Anyway, yesterday I put those same jean on, straight out of the dryer, and they were baggy. Of course, I just fnished my period so maybe I was bloated over vacay. I didn't feel bloated though. Think I'll put them back in the dryer and try to shrink them up because I really don't think I'm ready for the 14's. I collected a big box of clothes out of my closet that were all to big. Now, I need to go through my old containers and see if there is anything that I can wear. I'm just so lovng this.

2009-03-27T15:42:00.003-04:00

Sorry, it's been so long. Work has just been crazy. Then as it was slowing down , it was time to go on vacaton. I think it finally caught up with me. I'm sick. But more of that later.

Well, I just got back from vacation. Went to Bristol, TN for the NASCAR race. It was great. Felt like I didn't have a care in the world for 5 days. Got lots of walking in but probably not as much as previous years. My aunt is my walking buddy on vacation and she was having serious knee problems before we left. We only got one 1 mile walk in for exercise. And we avoided the walk up and down the mountain on the way back from the track by taking the shuttle. But we did lots of walking while shopping and walking around the track. I'm convinced there isn't a flat surface in TN

I even got acquainted with a hotty that I've had my eye on for a couple years. We stay in a campgrounds and have had the same neighbors for years. FUN!! Too bad Tim lives in New York...near Niagra Falls. I think I could easly fall in love.

Anyway, I came back and promptly got sick Monday night with chills and diarreha. Then came the head and chest cold. I haven't went back to work yet. But will have to go in tomorrow or I need a doctor's excuse.

I'm pumped to get out there and RUN! But I need my head to feel like it's not going to explode. I'm at my lowest weight today and I hope I can maintain it when I get well.

2009-02-08T20:05:00.002-05:00

I guess I should give my January progress report.

7/7 aerobics classes ***we had less classes d/t weather
19.8/25 mles on recumbent bike
11.7/15 mles on the crosstrainer
3/10 miles on the treadmill

Beginning weight 218.4
End weight 214.2

Not bad! I really would have liked to make more of those goals but like I said in an earlier post, I've been working a lot of hours. And believe me the aerobics classes have been killer. There were some days after class that I was really hurting. My bottom and hips are hurting right now from Saturday's workout. I'm really happy with the weightloss because mid month I still hadn't lost anything.

Time to make some February goals...
8 aerobics classes
20 miles on the recumbent
10 mles on the crosstrainer
20 miles on the treadmill or walking outside

I'm starting my half-marathon training so I need to lay off the bike and crosstrainer and get some walking/running in. I started this week by doing fast mile runs on the treadmill. And today did a trial 3.1 miles outside. It was very slow with only a few bursts of jogging. I was having some bowel issues and was afraid to push it to much....if you catch my drift. It was a beautiful 40 degrees and sunny this afternoon and I couldn't resist.

Hope to be checkin in more regulary. I thought things at work were slowng down but when I went in today for a few hours, I discovered that we have 6 more patients to add to the caseload. I'm almost afraid that it will stay like this. Guess I don't to worry about job security. So many people worried about their jobs and I desparetely need a break. And I don't mean a vacation because the work is still there when you come back from vacation. We need more staff.

Take care all!

2009-01-29T21:31:00.003-05:00

Oh...where has the motivation gone......just kidding! I'm still motvated. It dropped a little in the middle of the month. I was working a lot of hours and only getting to the Y on days I had to go for aerobics class.

This week has been super for exercise and the eating hasn't been half bad either. My lowest calories was 1320 and the highest was 1644. Subtract all the calories I burnt with exercise, I should be sitting pretty this week. I need it because I stayed the same for our first weigh-in for the biggest loser.

Exercise this week has been a little bit of everything. Tuesday was our exercise class. It's a mixture of cardio and weights. It will kick your ass. I also did 2 miles on the crosstrainer after class. Wednesday, I took the day off. So, I was able to go to the y before they closed due to the bad weather. In our county, if the roads get to bad to travel they issue a travel advisory and you could be arrested if you're caught on the roads. Well, it was bad. I have 4 wheel drive and was hitting drifts that were a couple feet high. Weee...that was fun. Luckily, I was able to keep it on the road. And tonight, our class was cancelled so I did 2.2 miles on the crosstrainer and then did half an hour of spin class.

Ah...I forgot....I put the Jeep in the ditch 3 weeks ago and just got it back. I hit a fence post and knocked the taillight out and damaged the bumper. It was about $2,000 worth of damage. I hit some black ice on a bridge. Actually, I was very lucky. I'm not at all worriied about the money because I wasn't hurt and I didn't hurt anyone else. It was early in the morning so there wasn't much traffic.

In other news, I don't think things are going very far with Mark. He's not coming back from Florida till March. We've still been e-mailing about once a week but things are just fizzling. I don't feel a connection. But that doesn't mean there isn't another possiblity......:)

A dear dear friend of mine just popped up in my life again. He was my best bud for a lot of years and then he got a girlfriend that isolated him. He wasn't able to talk to me and she didn't even like him seeing his guy friends. I'm sure at first he was happy that she want to spend so much time with him but it got old after a while but he had a hard time getting away from her. I guess he's been split up from her for over a year. Anyway, my friend's mother died on the 6th and I went to the funeral. The funeral was at my church and I stayed to help with the dinner. We ended up talking for a long time and have talked on the phone for hours since then. We always had this underlined tension/attraction between us. We can talk about anything with each other. The good and bad thing is we know so much about each other. He knows everything about my former relationships including intimate things. He actually reminded me of some things I had forgotten. I'm not sure where it will lead. I'm afraid I'll ruin friendship if things go bad. I've missed him so much over the years. so...we'll see.

2009-01-04T22:36:00.002-05:00

Results so far:

3 out of 4 days in January exercised
4 our of 4 days all food logged in to the dailyplate.com (love that site)

0/11 aerobics class
8.1/25 miles recumbent bike
4.5/15 miles on crosstrainer
1/10 miles on treamill or walked

It looks like I'm really ahead on my goals but i know that it will slow down once my aerobics classes start on Tuesday. And tomorrow will probably be a rest day as I have a long day at work and council meeting after work. The aerobics classes are only a hour but I hear they are really tough. We were told to bring a towel and plenty of water to drink

toodles...I need to wash my face/moisturize, do my devotional and get in bed.

2009-01-04T15:28:00.002-05:00

For some reason I just think this is the year. Finally at age 38, I'm finally growing up. I've even made a plan to get my finances in order. I'm saving for a house to buy (maybe even this one). Last year it didn't go to well for saving. In part, do to moving. And I treated myself to a new bedroom suit when I moved. So, I'm going to the office tomorrow morning and going to change my direct deposit so that 10% automatically goes into my saving account. I get a raise this week so I won't notice much missing from my check. I can still add more money to saving as I have extra money. Usually my tax refund goes in there and anythng I earn doing taxes.

I'm still "talkng" to Mark from eharmony. We e-mail and he's called once. BUT he's still in Florida visiting his family. He might not be the "one" but I'm keepng my optons open. I am trying to take every opportunity to meet men. It's one of my missions this year to meet someone. My cousin and her husband has tons of friends and is always doing different things. So, I've been going along for the ride with them. I even went to 2 high school basketball game this winter and a football game in another city. You never know when you'll meet someone. Or meet a friend of a friend that might be interesting.

So, I'm working on health (joining the biggest losser), wealth (saving) and happiness (trying to meet someone) in the new year. I think I can handle all of it because I'm making small changes. The biggest time committment will be the biggest loser.

2009-01-02T15:24:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd start some January goals. I start the biggest loser program at the Y on Tuesday that includes aerobics classes 3 times a week. So, I have to incorporate that in my goals. It'll mean that some of my other goals had to be reduced.

11 hours of aerobics
25 miles on the recumbent bike
15 miles on the elliptical crosstrainer
10 miles on the treadmill

So far:
0/0 aerobics (classes start Tuesday)
2.7/25 bike
1.5/15 crosstrainer
0/10 treadmill

Think I'll come clean with my stats from my health assessment at the Y.

Weight 218.4
Fat % - 48%
Step test - POOR (you step up and down a 12 inch step for 3 minutes and then they take your heart rate. The girl administating the test did say most people don't finsh the test. I finished! My heart rate was 173 though. I'm not sure I agree with the ratings system. I agree with poor right now but you have to get below 129 to be FAIR. My target heart rate should be 109-145. If I get below 145 at the end of the challenge, I'll be happy)
Flexibility - Above Average (Knew this. We did the same test in PTA school. I was the most flexible in my class. It involve long sitting and reaching down past you toes. If I didn't have so much flesh on my stomach I could go even farther)
There I've said everything "out loud".

Now it's time to get busy on these goals. Off to the Y!

2009-01-01T22:35:00.000-05:00

Year in review:

Recumbent Cycling -93.8 miles
Running - 22.3 miles
Walking - 170.4 miles
Crosstrainer - 36.7 miles

You couldn't tell that I trained for a half-marathon. In my defense, I suffered through 4 weeks of sciatic pain during my training. This year will be better.

Weight loss: 22.5 pounds gone. This isn't your typical weight loss with Lap band but I'm not your typical person! I'm still dealing with the emotional side of eating. You CAN cheat with the lap band but I'm slowly getting it! I've ate more ice cream and milkshakes in the last year than the previous 10 years. Eating sometimes seems like a chore and foods that slide down easily are so tempting. Luckily, I'm getting smarter about what I eat and how I eat. It's a very slow process for me.

2008-12-14T21:44:00.002-05:00

I just spent 4 days not thinking about diet, exercise, or weight. Been too busy. I didn't make the best choices but I didn't consume much either.

Thursday - work, got my hair dyed RED and time spent with family.
Friday - work, then went to my sister's for my niece's birthday till about midnight. Didn't over eat but drank 3 wine coolers at the party
Saturday - Town work, house work, then picked my niece up to stay over night. Also have my cousin's two girls. Unfortunately, it didn't go so good. My niece was up 3 times puking in the middle of the night. We went through 2 sets of bed linens. (Remember I have no washer hooked up) Great!
Sunday, me and Lucy laided around all day since we didn't sleep last night. My mom came and gathered up all my bed linens to wash at her house. I fully intended to take them to the laundry mat. She had to spray them off with the outdoor water hose before putting in the wash. (ISn't my mom the greatest?) Then, we all met for my dad's side of the family for christmas. I only see most of them once a year. Luckily, Lucy started feeling better. Hope she's okay and I hope that I dont' get it!

See, no time to think about what I'm eating. This week will probably be different. The Y is offering alot of free classes this week. I'm going to take some to see what I want to sign-up for.

Now, it's time to get to bed. I'm totally exhausted.

2008-12-08T22:05:00.002-05:00

Okay...I finally rejoined the 21st century. I dumped the dial-up and got broadband. I had dsl through my phone company before I moved but at my new house I couldn't get it. so, it's been AOL dial-up for two months. Shooo....don't know how I survived. hehe. I can blog from my bed again. LOL!! Now...if I'd just put a charged battery in this laptop, I'd have it made.

Well..the weight bobbled back up over the weekend. Honestly, I just wanted to eat all weekend. It's funny how I have those days sometimes. And I don't thnk it has a thing to do with my fill level. Because today, I wasn't hungry at all...and was satisfied on 1100 calores. My bingy days are nothing like they use to be though. yesterday I felt like I overate and only really had 1700 calories. On one hand, I don't understand why I'm not losing more and on the other hand I know my calorie choices are not always the best. I feel like I'm only on plan 50% of the time. I have to change that.

In other news, I finally feel semi-confident enough to start dating. I joined eharmony.com about a month ago. I have one prospect that I'm e-mailing. He's vacatoning in Florida for another month so I have a little more time to build up to the big meet-up. Not sure we'll mesh well but it'll be a confidience boost just to get out there again. It's been 3 years since I've dated. Over a year since the last hook-up with an ex.....it's time. LOL!

2008-12-02T21:56:00.002-05:00

Boy, does time fly. I was doing so well posting and bam! Nothing.

Life has been busy. Work, finally getting settled in to the new house, training someone to take my town job, working out, and lots of family events.

I completed 42 miles of exercise in November. My goal was 60 miles but I have a very bad cold/flu for a week. In fact, the cold has held on for about 3 weeks but the worst of it lasted a week. I never miss work and I missed 2 days. It was the first time in 2 years that I've called in.

My birthday came and went without much incidence. My birthday is almost always celebrated by my family on Thanksgiving. I always hated that....no separate celebration. Almost like a christmas baby. Anyway, we also had a suprised 40th birthday party for my brother-in-law. And 5 of 7 of my employees had birthday's in November. Needless to say, I've had a lot of cake this month. And my weight in down...216 this morning. I checked my fitday weight log and I've been losing and gaining the same 4 pounds since August. (219-215) So, I really need a new plan. I have to get over this hump.

I'm thinking about joining my Y's Biggest Loser program. I'll tell you more about that latter. I really need to get to bed. It's been a long day.

2008-11-10T20:54:00.003-05:00

I discovered thedailyplate.com this weekend. It's a free daily calorie counter...you can log food, exercise, join challenges and group, chat on forums. It's great. I've never seen such a wide database of foods. Everythng is on there. Anyway, I joined a challenge of dong 60 mile of cardio for the month of November. (Biking, running, walking, elliptical)

I went to the Y and did a combination of treadmill, recumbent bike, and ellptical. I never would have went to the Y without signing up for this challenge. I worked later than normal and I usually think it'll be too crowded at the Y for my taste so I just don't go after 4:30 in the afternoon. Today I got off at 5 and the parkng lot was full but there really wasn't many people in the cardio room. I just have to do this every, EVERY night.

Calories consumed: 1149
Calories burned: 450
Net calories: 699

2008-11-09T21:50:00.000-05:00

I love the Y. I don't know why I don't go more often.

I did 1 mile on the treadmill going as fast as I thought I could go. Finished in 14:54. I actually think I could have gone faster but I started a little too conservatively. 20 minutes on the recumbent bike for a total of 3.6 miles. Then, 20 minutes on the elliptical crosstrainer (1.3 miles)

I've had this mild cold for over a week. It was a little worse Friday and better today. Yesterday I was able to eeck out my 2 mile "WALK away the Pounds" dvd. I couldn't breathe very well during it. So, I'm really glad I got such a good workout today.

Planning to go back to the Y tomorrow.

2008-11-08T20:37:00.003-05:00

Another note about the race. This is something I wouldn't admit to anyone in "real" life. After the race the friend I was riding with stopped at Skyline chili. I don't like chili. There wasn't much on the menu that would be band friendly. I tried to order a baked potato but they ddn't have any. I should have just drank my hot chocolate and been done with it. I wasn't starveing of anything. But hindsight is 20/20. Instead I ordered cheesy fries. I only ate about 1/4 of the serving. And everything felt fine. After we'd sat for a little bit though....I started burping. I'm pretty good at being discrete about this. I should have made a trip to the bathroom. Nope...Settled in the car for a 45 minute ride home. My throat was getting tighter and tighter. I could feel the mucus buildng up in the back of my thoat. I couldn't hold it any longer. I slimmed into my sock hat. Yuck.......But I felt a whole lot better afterward. The woman sitting in the back seat next to me didn't even know. That was the longest ride home.

2008-11-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

I guess I have to write about my “Ghost and Goblins 5K” experience before I forget all the details. I would have written sooner but it’s been a busy week. I took a day and a half off work to spend some time with my niece. Believe me, she demands a lot of attention.

Anyway, the 5K was on October 28th at night and of course it was Halloween themed. Two of the people I went with were dressed up, one supergirl and one Hershey kiss. I just wore black tights with a bright orange pumpkin shirt with a long sleeved tech shirt underneath and gloves. It was one of the coldest nights around 30 degrees. Believe it or not, it was a great night for running. The only time I got cold was waiting for the race to start and coming across the last bridge over the Great Miami River.

If you all know anything about me you know, I didn’t really train for this. I’m the ultimate procrastinator. So, I was going to do a run/walk combination and was hoping to finish in 50:00 some things, around a 17:00 mile. This was a charity run/walk benefiting Dayton’s Children’s Hospital. Looking at last year’s results I knew that there were lots of walkers so no chance of me embarrassing myself.

The start was a bit disorganized. They did have signs posted by pace for people to start but there were even people with strollers in the front. No one was paying any attention. If I was a serious runner I’d be pissed. You have to go into this race for fun only.

It was a chip race so my time didn’t start until I crossed the start mat. Unfortunately, I didn’t wear my watch so I didn’t know how long it took to get to the mat. The first mile, I ran about half of it and the time display said 17:36 so I knew I was probably under my 17 minute mile goal. The first mile was paved roads. They had Halloween displays along the route like graveyards. Mile 2 was a combination of pavement and gravel path. I mainly walked and focused on walking as fast as I could. It worked…..I hit the mile 2 display at 32:50. On mile 3, a chicken passed me. At least a person dressed as a chicken. I couldn’t let that chicken beat me. So, I would run ahead of the chicken walk until the chicken caught up to me then run again. The chicken was even able to pass me while walking. What can I say? The chicken had longer legs than me. I spent the last ½ mile running to keep in front of that chicken. I did it! I finished in 48:06 about a 15:31 mile. Thanks to the chicken and the cold I ran faster than I usually do.

It felt so good to run…..I wish could keep that feeling with me at all times.

2008-10-23T19:42:00.002-04:00

IT'S MY ONE YEAR BANDIVERSARY!!!

I listed all my accomplishments yesterday so I'll get down to the numbers today. The cold hard facts......

Bust - 3.25 inches lost
Hips - 4.25 inches lost
Waist - 3.75 inches lost
Lower Abs - 4.5 inches lost
Thighs - 7.75 inches lost
Calves - 3.5 inches lost
Biceps - 2.25 inches lost
34 pounds down
BMI from 44.5 to 38.4
From Size 20 jeans to a Size 16
From a Size 18/20 womens size shirt to most misses XL

Yeah me....I could have never done this on my own. Thanks you band creators! I'll be eternally grateful.

2008-10-22T21:42:00.004-04:00

Opps.....almost forgot

I decreased my blood pressure meds. And took a giant leap of faith by having surgery.

Lots of changes in my life this year. (Mostly good) ........and thank you Melanie for helping remind me.

2008-10-22T18:46:00.002-04:00

This one is for Melanie.....Thanks for all the kind words and the cyber hug. You made me tear up just reading. I think I do need to be nicer to myself. I'm my own worst enemy.

Here's my list of accomplshments this past year:

Lost approximately 35 pounds
Walked a half-marathon
Achieved many goals at work (added staff and increased revenue)
Held it together with a new difficult boss
Moved to a nicer house, closer to work
Can buy most of my clothes in a normal size store
Decreased my debt by about $4,000
I don't come home from work and have to take a nap everyday
There is usually a spring in my step
I'm getting rid of some of my commitments...(i.e. town job, church committee)
Making new friends and reconnecting with others

Okay i need to get something for supper. I'm not really hungry but I've only ate about 700 calories today. May just fix a bowl of cereal. It's getting late and I don't really want anything anyway.

2008-10-20T02:53:00.002-04:00

This weekend was halfway successful. I walked 3 miles Saturday and nothing on Sunday. I'm so happy to find a great route to walk with no mean dogs. I know I can go at least 3.5 miles with no dogs. I don't know beyond that. I need to remind myself that there aren't many good walking days left ths season and get out there more. I love going to the y but I love the outdoors even better but I'm definitely not a cold weather walker. I signed up for a 5K at the end of the month. I can't remember if I mentioned it. Not much training for that going on. I need a swift kick.

Don't even ask me about food. I've been so off track. Buying chips and ice cream. My main problem is not cooking. No excuse but laziness. I'm coming up on my 1 year anniversary and am not near where I wanted to be. I feel so disconnected that I can't even get to the emotions I feel about this. I can't get angry with myself or cry with dissappointment. I learned a long time ago not to feel. I can cry about things I see on TV but not about my own sad life. The closest I came is Saturday night when I seen a couple men in the grocery rushing around to buy Sweetest Day flowers. I felt so alone. And the only reason I think it got to me is that I seen my ex-boyfriend Friday night at the Football game and felt so distant from him. I can't believe there would come a day when we didn't know anything about each other's life. Even though we broke up 7 years ago, we always had some kind of contact and kept "tabs" on each other until this last year. I have a fair amount of friends but no one I can tell my deepest feelings to.

I've been blessed in so many ways but why do I still feel my life is so messed up and lonely. I ask God over and over to send me my soul mate. But I know that won't fix me.

I can't believe I even got this real with myself. I guess that is what happens when you can't sleep and get online in the middle of the night.

2008-10-16T07:11:00.002-04:00

I walked on the treadmill this morning for 30 minutes watching "Young and the Restless" (My guilty pleasure.) No idea how far I got. I haven't used the treadmill in so long that the batteries corroded so the display didn't work. Maybe if I clean the corrosion off it's work again.

Now, I'm off to work. i hope it goes fast. My sister is coming down tonight to cut hair. I really need it and some highlights. I also need my 1 year pictures taken. My first pictures were taken when I started my liquid diet about 6 days before my surgery. Maybe I'll do a side by side comparison.

2008-10-14T21:11:00.003-04:00

Back from Vacay!! NASCAR gotta love it. NASCAR fans are the best. I meet so many great people going to races.

Me ~ 35 pounds down at Lake Norman

WE got to Charlotte around midnight Thursday. Spent all day Friday running around. Went to 3 race shops, drove through a residental area close to LAke Norman and found this boat ramp next to a huge house being built. Thought we'd get caught for trespassing but didn't. (thank god) Last year we got kicked out of Lake Norman State Park because the lake was down so low the beach was closed. Anyway, we dipped our toes in and took a few pictures. Will go back next year to see if the house gets finished. We ate at a great seafood place and then went to Wisky River (Dale EArnhardt JR's bar.) We hung out at the bar mostly people watching till midnight. The bar is really cool. They have a mechanical bull and flat screens every where. Saturday we went to the race track to shop and tailgate. The race was okay.....Dale JR blow a tire early on and was out of contention. Luckily, Jeff Burton won. He's one of the good guys.

Well, got to get to bed. The "boss" will be in the building tomorrow.

2008-10-08T21:42:00.002-04:00

Exercise was really good last week....this week not so good. Oh well...life happens.

This week Sun through Wednesday....I've worked 14 hours for the town and 28 hours at my "real" job. I've also got my house almost totally organized. I have just a few things to put on the walls and the office to organize. The good news is there will be no more working for the rest of the week!! I leave for vacation tomorrow. 4 days in Charlotte, NC for the NASCAR race. My friend Paula and I go every year...actually twice a year for the Memorial day race and the October race. I drive in October so I'll be runnng around tomorrow getting the car ready to go. We don't leave till she gets off work at 4 so I need to go get the oil changed and the car vacuumed out, get cash, and snacks.....and PACK!

Speaking of packing, I tried on two pairs of jeans that I had labeled "almost" about a month ago. A month ago the were too snug especally in the thighs to wear in public. Tonight...they fit perfectly! I'm takng them with me! And I really haven't lost an ounce. I lost 3 pounds last week and found them again this week. But I proud that I've been safely in the 2 hundred-"teens" for weeks now. Bye -BYE 220's forever.

2008-09-30T20:23:00.002-04:00

I finally dragged my sorry ass out the door this mornng at 6 and went to the Y. I only did 20 minutes on the crosstrainer and 10 minutes on the recumbent bike before I had to get ready for work but I'm glad I did somethng good for myself. I'm going to try to get there earlier tomorrow and do more.

I've felt really tight lately. I think it may be stress. I was barely able to get my pills down this morning. I wonder if lack of sleep will make you tight. I've been so tired I can barely keep my eyes open at work. Of course, I did work 10.5 hours today and got up extra early to workout.

I'm ready to get off this merry go round and have a normal home life with everything in it's place and have a normal work schedule...opps wrong profession for normal. LOL!

2008-09-28T14:29:00.002-04:00

I'm moved! And actually no tears yet. I love my new home.

'm cleanng the old house and movng all the town stuff to the town building today. Bye, Bye high speed wireless....it's back to AOL dial-up until I can figure out how to get wireless. I may go with a Verizon broadband card and continue to use my yahooo account for e-mail.

Well, I really need get the last bit of my clothes delivered to my house. And hopefully see the beginning of the NASCAR race.

2008-09-26T07:14:00.002-04:00

Short update before my day gets hectic.

Between me, my mom and sister we've almost got an entire 2 bedroom house painted. We have the hall and the mud room to complete today. I'll be honest...I'm not a painter so they did the majority of it. I'm the officail "tape master" though. I taped everything off as they painted. AndI've been cleaning till my hand feel raw. Today, we finish painting and scrubing the floors, they deliever my new bedroom suit, and I get my directv hooked up. Then, after my step-dad gets off work, we're gong to move some of my larger items to the new house. And somewhere in there I need to finish packing and do 3 loads of laundry. My new house doesn't have wash hook-up so I want to get all my clothes washed before we move my washer and dryer tonight. It will be stored in the basement until my landlord decides to put in a hook-up. Maybe he'll save up my rent for a few months and do it.

Well, I off to shower and tackle the upstairs. It's almost all packed except my desk and the town stuff. Need to be at the house by 10 for the new bed to arrive. I'm excited the sadness will ht when my old house is sitting empty. I really loved this old house.

2008-09-13T21:51:00.002-04:00

Great day and some what productive. I slept in till 9:30. Yeah, that's late for me. I organized a few things, cleaned, did laundry, watched TV and washed dishes. Sounds like a lot but I didn't say I finished all those things. One thing I'm really proud of is I went to the Y and worked out. 20 minutes on the recumbent bike, 15 minutes on the crosstrainer, a dip in the pool, and a soak in the hot tub. As I sat in the hot tub, I was thinking "why don't I do this more often?". I felt heavenly afterwards. I'll be about 5 minutes away from the Y after I move. So, I'd really like to make the Y part of my morning routine. I use to love to get my exercise out of the way in the morning. It starts the day out great.

My step-dad and I was suppose to have a garage sale today but we called it off because it was suppose to rain all day and my step-dad got called in to work. So, now I've got all this stuff for the garage sale that either has to follow me to the new house or be stored in my mom's garage until we can reschedule.

Eating has been bad today. So, much for my latest fill....no restriction today. I can't blame it all on my level of fill though. I know I've been eating when I'm not really hungry. I thnk I eat the most when I'm feeling overwhelmed. There is jsut so much to do in the next few weeks. I just need to get over it though....things will get done. And I should just quit stressing.

Well, I'm gong to bed early tonight. I am going to try Sunday school tomorrow.....with no promises that I'll make it every week. Especially since I'm moving farther away from my church.

2008-09-09T21:39:00.002-04:00

Nothing happening here. Just boring stuff. Packing, cleaning, work, town work and church commitments. This week is so busy. Luckily, work is a little slow right now. So, I've been getting out of work at a decent time. I did work 9 hours yesterday but only 7.5 today. I had to spend about 2 hours tonight decorating the church for fall. Tomorrow, I'm going to try to get out of work by 3 and go bedroom furniture shopping. I found a bedroom suit that I think I'm going to buy but I have one more store about 40 miles away that I want to check out first. Then, tomorrow night, we're having a cookout at church. This is the 120th anniversary of the Brethren Church and we are celebrating all month long. Next Sunday is also the kick-off for new Sunday School classes. There is a women's group that is being lead by the pastor's wife. I would really like to participate but....(this is bad)... hate getting up early on Sunday morning. My normal routine is staying up late Saturday. Barely making it up in time to get to church....then napping all day Sunday. Then feeling totally unproductive. Sunday School would mean even an hour earlier on Sunday.

Weight is flucuating between 217-221. Depending on the amount of water I'm retaining. I felt very bloated this past weekend and my weight was up. I can really feel a difference with my fill on Thursday. I get full a whole lot faster. I was a little disappointed when I cooked tonight, sat down to eat, and felt the tightness about 4 bites into dinner. I think I wasn't paying enough attention with my chewing. I hate when I have to throw away my meal.

2008-09-03T21:53:00.003-04:00

Here is my "new" house....

It needs some work on the landscaping among other things....like a good cleaning and paint in almost every room. I have lots of work to do in the coming month.

In other news, I'm getting a fill tomorrow. Six weeks ago, I canceled my fill because I thought I was at a perfect level. But as time has gone on I've loosened up. Right now, I can eat almost anything. Eventhough I know I shouldn't. I've been able to eat a mini toased bagel. And my portions are getting bigger with no discomfort. I should learn not to push the limits. Right now, there seems to be no limits.

Exercise has been none existant due to my busy schedule. Next week should be better. I have a lot less "have to's" in my schedule next week. This week was town council meeting, doctor's appt, boss coming to visit, a big project at work, church meeting to decorate the sanctuary and finally drinks after work on Friday with friends.

TA-TA

2008-09-01T23:16:00.003-04:00

Thanks for the Comments, Diz and Melanie.
Guess what?...................I found a home. And it's actually a better house than the one live in now. It's closer to work but still out in the country. And the rent is the same. The man that use to live in it died this spring and it's been sitting empty. The son owns it now and is in the midst of selling all his dad's belongings. The sale is Septmember 27 and then I can start moving in. Steve (landlord) gave me a good deal because he said "he didn't want to get rich off it, just get enough out of it to pay the taxes." It's part of a 40 acre farm and ajoins his farm so he won't be selling it. And he has no kids that may want to move in down the road. He already gave me a key so I might start cleaning and painting in the next few weeks. The colors are from the 1960's and being that his dad was pretty ill for awhile it needs a good cleaning.

Well...it's about 11:30 and I need to get to bed.

2008-08-28T22:43:00.001-04:00

I'm a mess right now.

I have to move. My landlord came over this afternoon and said her grand-daughter wants to move into my house. She is a sweet lady and she apoligized prefusely but she really does need her family close. She's in her early 90's. I'm so upset. I've lived here for 5 years and I love my house. I have 30 days to move.

I just don't know what to do. I was going to buy but not until next year. I don't have a big enough down payment right now anyway. Rent for a house is around $600-$700. And I really don't want to live in town. My mom said I could move back home but that would be a LAST resort.

To some people this probably isn't a big deal but I'm a homebody. I'm very attached to this place. I was actually hoping that I could buy it someday.

I'm just still in shock.

2008-08-27T22:19:00.002-04:00

Thanks Diz for the comment....I have to remember to add your link to my sidebar also.

I haven't really exercised this week yet. I've been feeling a little down lately. I think that I'm just overwhelmed at work and with my part time job. I've just kind of shut down. Luckly this doesn't usually last long. I just need to get with it. The more productive I am the better I feel about myself.

Another reason I'm feeling hopeful is that I finally reconnected with an internet friend of mine. I missed talking to him so much but our schedules just didn't mesh this summer. You can never have too many friends. I use to have a lot of guy friends but the older I get they have all grown up, married and we've grown apart. I think that's why I treasure my friendship with Todd. I really need a guy's prospective. And we're so much alike we could be siblings.

I'll update soon....Kristi (who is not feeling so lonely tonight)

2008-08-24T23:43:00.001-04:00

I walked 3.5 miles yestersay and throw a little jogging in here and there. I about roasted. I needed to get out earlier.

Nothing today. Excuse---my sinuses/allergies are actng up. My eyes have been draining for two days. There were swollen and matted shut today. But I'm feeling better and plan to get back at it tomorrow.

I found a 5K to do next month. It's a charity run/walk so I won't have to worry about coming in last.

That's it for now.....almost midnight. Darn, I have an early morning tomorrow.

2008-08-14T20:48:00.004-04:00

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with the new boss and my second job doing the books for the town I live in. Tonight, I just vegged out. That's what happens when I have a lot to do...I do nothing. I'm jealous of people that have whole weekends to play. Seems like I'm always busy with work or puttng off work. It's always hangng over my head. Sorry, don't want to whine but this journal is my outlet.

I will get to do one fun thing this weekend. I'm go to see Kid Rock and Lynard Skynard in concert. I can't wait to get away for the evening. my aunt and 2 of my good friends are going. Our fair also starts this weekend. It's a big thing around here. I've never been to crazy about fair food So that shouldn't be problem. My biggest weakness is soft pretzels with cheese and texas tenderloins with cheese. Well, the soft pretzel is definetely out. And I tried a tenderloin without a bun a couple weeks ago at a festival and got stuck. I know I didn't chew well so that might be the reason it got stuck....but I'm not in a hurry to try again. I may have an ice cream cone if I really NEED a treat.

No exercise today...besides running my tail off at work. I had my teeth cleaned today and my mouth is tender. Didn't have much of an appetite for lunch or supper. Maybe I'll see the scale move tomorrow. Last night I went to bed with the scale saying 220 and after two bathroom breaks during the night the scale still said 220 this am. NO way! I'm ready for a whoosh!! Any time now......

2008-08-14T06:30:00.003-04:00

Sorry, guys.....my computer charger and battery went bad. So, I've been out of commission. t's fnally fixed! I'll update more later. Just a hint though......I've been doing great especially with exercise. Lots of readers lately....some from Canada, Austrailia, and Italy. Wow, thanks for reading. Leave a comment if you'd like.

2008-07-30T20:11:00.002-04:00

I walked last night for 3.5 miles. It was pretty humid out so I waited till 8 o'clock. I did walk very fast though. It was the first time my back would allow me to walk. I'm having sciatic back pain again. I took it slow. But tonight I just don't have the energy to go walk. I worked 11 hours today. I have a meeting in Cincinnati tomorrow so I had to get a lot of work done today that can't be done tomorrow. The good thng is I don't have to go in very early tomorrow. I *hope* to walk in the morning before work. I'm going in at 9 then leaving about 11 for Cincy. the meeting lasts to *hopefully* 4:00. The bosses from Cincy don't take into account that it's a 2 hour drive for us out of towners. I'll probably be exhausted again tomorrow night. I also have to find something to wear. Dressing everyday is a no brainer because we wear polo's and khaki's in the rehab gym. Tomorrow is business casual. All the big wigs will be there so I have to dress nice but I also have to treat patients for 2 hours before I leave. Oh well....I need to get things ready so I'm not rushing around tomorrow.

2008-07-27T21:11:00.002-04:00

Non race fans ignore!

I had a little excitement this weekend. I live close to Eldora Speedway, a dirt track owned by NASCAR driver Tony Stewart. My friend Paula and I go to the late model races a couple times a year and get into the pits. We've seen Tony many times but he's not too personable when he's there. That's understandable. He doesn't like to be mobbed by fans. Well, Friday night we were standing outside Tony's pit when we spotted Clint Bowyer (driver of the #07 Jack Daniels NASCAR car). Boy is he hot!!! Turns out one of our racing friends, Kevin drove Clint from the airport to the track. Kevin was going to try to introduced us to him but we took things into our own hands when we saw Clint headed to the consession stand. Clint was super nice and I actually got my picture taken with him. I stuck my foot in my mouth when I told him he was my #2 best driver. He said, "NUMBER 2!!" It was funny I don't think anyone really recognized him. He's not as big as Dale Jr, of course, but he's a big time driver.

(see new post below....I posted two in one day!)

2008-07-27T20:55:00.002-04:00

I did get out for that 4 mles walk last weekend. Actually 4.3 mles! But nothing since. Excuses--working 10 hours a day, an ear infection and my sciatic nerve acting up again.

Work hasn't gotten any better. I swear I will leave early tomorrow. I desperately need to take better care of myself. The stress of work is catching up to my body (hence the ear infection and back pain) I've been eating very crappy. Basically, anything that will go down. A couple times for lunch I've taken two bites, gotten stuck and gave up.

I was down to 219 Saturday. Wednesday was my 9th month bandivesry! I've lost 32 pounds and here are my measurements:

Waist, before 42.75 inches---now 39
Hips, before 51.25 inches---now 48.25
Bust, before 42.5 inches---now 39
I can comfortable get into my stretch size 16 Levi's
My work pants (khaki Levi Dockers size 16) are loose.

My results aren't stellar but I know I couldn't have done it by myself. I tried many, many times only to gain more. I probably would have gain 10 -20 pounds in the last 9 months....so looking at it that way...I've saved myself from 42-52 pounds. YEAH!!

2008-07-19T08:39:00.002-04:00

Going out for a 4 mile walk before it gets too hot. It's suppose to be in the 90's today with high humidity. I'll report back later. I just realzed for a band journal that I don't talk about what I eat or how I exercise much. So, I'm going to be more accountable to this journal. Thanks for everyone reading. I just discovered more band blogs. So, I'll be adding to the links on the sidebar soon.

2008-07-15T22:20:00.002-04:00

My boss is pissing me off. He is so demanding. I will only see him about once a month but he terrorize me over e-mail and the phone. The other managers in my region are feeling the same way. We're not use to beng micro managed. Needless to say, I'm extremely stressed and things are only gettng worse with people on vacation and I had one call in sick for the rest of the week. I'm so tired. But instead of clmbing in bed, I'm here updating.

Improving my body has been the last thng on my mind. I was so upset at lunch today that I couldn't eat. Stress can make your band tight. I took 3 bites of my lunch and felt tightness in my chest and I started sliming. Luckily, it only lasted a few minutes and everything went down okay. I really haven't been having any trouble eating. I've finally got it in my head to eat slower and chew, chew, chew.

Off to bed...

2008-07-13T21:39:00.002-04:00

My weigth has bobbled up again to 223. Earlier in the week I wanted to eat everything under the sun and on Thursday I finally found out why. My period. And why wouldn't I know that, you ask? Because I'm oblivious....no I'm not kidding. I was on birth control for so long that I could set my watch to when I'd start but my doc took me off BC when I got a blood clot. Now, I honestly don't know when it is coming and I just lose track of time. I really need to keep track. I'm thinking about going back on BC though. The blood clot was a fluck in my opinion. A combination of my broken ankle, BC, and taking a 600 mile trip with only short gas stops. My period are getting heavier and more uncomfortable after 2 (?) years off BC. Plus maybe I'll need the birth control for it's intended purpose one of these days. It sux being single.

I'm off....I need to get up at 5 to go to work. I have some important deadlines tomorrow and a co-worker is off for the next 2 days. I'm be glad when summer is over in that respect. Everybody wants to take vacation. I haven't had a week with a full team in a long time. And I'm tired of working overtime!

2008-07-04T21:37:00.002-04:00

Have you seen the ticker inching downward? I've lost 6 pounds since gettng home from vacation last week. YEAH me! This is the lowest I've been since June of 2004. When I graduated from PTA school. My co-workers haven't even seen me at this weight. I have a fellow lap-bander at work called me skinny this week. I'm hardly skinny but I'm glad she noticed. She was one of the reasons I decided to get the band. I didn't even know our insurance covered lap band until she got it. She did great losing 70 pounds in 9 months and then she got pregnant. She really wanted to lose more before becoming pregnant but shit happens. She was surprised but happy because infertility was one of the reasons she got the band.

I'm a little sad today. It's 4th of July and I'm not doing anything. I'm tired of being alone. Just as I wrote that my friend Lori called and she wasn't doing anything either. So, now I don't feel so bad. I had tried to call her earlier and see if she wanted to go see firework. And she didn't answer. I thought she was out doing somethng exciting without me! But no she was just outside and didn't hear the phone. We may go to the Lake tomorrow for a little while. My cousin has a place on the Lake but we aren't as close anymore since we don't work together. I've been bummed that she hasn't called and invited me up. My friend Lori is also my cousin's aunt. (Oppisite sides of the famly) Anyway, we're going up tomorrow night. My cousin is not formal and expects people to just drop in but I always feel weird not being invited. Guess I've always been a little parnoid about making sure people want me around. I'm always afraid I'm in the way.

2008-06-29T22:34:00.002-04:00

Very boring weekend. I just spent 2 hours getting my finances straightened out. I keep all my records in Quicken. And I hadn't updated my 401K accounts in a year and a half. I actually have more money than I thought I did. Suze Ormand would be proud. hehe. I watched her on TV Saturday night. (yeah..yawn..told you I had a borng weekend) Anyway, watching her I don't think I should ever spend any money or have any fun until I get this debt paid off. I have lots of credit card debt from the 3 years I worked part-time and went to school.

Speakng of money...I just got a Kid Rock ticket. It better be worth it for $100. So much for saving money. And I need to pay Paula for my $100 Charlotte race ticket for October. But I am sellng my August Bristol tix for $400. So, I'm ahead a little.

Well....I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is the end of the month. So, I probably have a 9-10 hour day ahead of me tomorrow.

2008-06-27T21:33:00.002-04:00

Back from vacation! I really need to update more but hey I lead a really boring life. Except for an occasional vacation thrown in my days are pretty monotonous. (Work, housework, sleep and some exercise for stress relief.)

So, vacation was a relaxing 4 days on the beach in Daytona, Florida. I went by myself. My friend and travelling buddy just had knee surgery and she got a demotion this year so she wasn't able to go. I don't mind gong alone and was actually really looking forward to being alone....there were times that I felt extremely lonely. More so than when I'm at home. I have lots to keep me busy when I'm at home. On vacation, I do a lot of people watching and it's rare to see anyone else alone. Couples, Couples with kids, single parents with kids. But no one completely alone like me.

Not that I was moping the entire time. I seen a movie, walked on the beach every morning, swam in the ocean, enjoyed the smells and sound of the ocean, got a nice tan, read two books, had a delicious Mahi-Mahi sandwich, had several tropical drinks and came back home exhausted. So much for a relaxing vacation. Wednesday morning I got up early to savor my last day on the beach and then my flight in Atlanta was late so didn't get home till 2am. I was suppose to have a 3 hour lay over in Atlanta but it turned into 5 hours. Luckily, I ran into a former co-worker and her new hubby coming home from their honeymoon. So, the time went faster catching up with her. Funny, every time I'm in an airport 40, 400 or 1000 miles away I almost always run into someone I know.

I am up a couple pounds from vacation. Eating wasn't really enjoyable. Nothing really hit the spot. Plus when I home I usually eat out with friends and share a meal. I felt kind of funny going into a restaurant by myself and then only eat about 1/4 of my meal. I got weird looks for my waitresses. They keep asking me if everything was okay. The best place I ate was a bar that served a great grilled Mahi-Mahi sandwich. The fish was so tender it fell apart and it was seasoned just right. I love seafood. You just can't get good seafood around here. And everything is fried and breaded.

So, now it's time to get busy and lose some weight. More later...

2008-06-12T18:32:00.005-04:00

what to write?? I'm hanging in there. Slowly...(and I do mean slowly) losing weight. I never stay at one weight more than one day at a time but my weight range gets lower and lower. I've kissed the 230's good-bye. And it's even been over a week since I seen 225. The lowest I've seen is 222. I go on vacation June 22nd and I'd like to see some teens by then. I'm comfortable wearing some 15/16's and I ordered a size smaller in my polo's for work (from a women's 2XL to a misses XL) The things is it's going so slow that I'm not seeing the results. People that haven't seen me for awhile notice and when I look at pictures from last year, I can tell. But day in and day out, I feel like I'm not going anywhere. Yesterday, I did notice that I had more energy. After working 9 hours, I went shopping. I didn't get home till after 7. And still had the energy to fix something to eat, unload the car and putter around in the yard a little. I use to have to veg out right after work because I was so tired. Don't get me wrong I still have days like that.

Exercise.....(hhmmm what exercise?)
Excuses.....it's too hot and....well I can't think of any others.

Just haven't been in the mood to exercise. I really need to though. I want to look tight for vacation instead of floppy. Yes, I'm still fat and lumpy but exercise at least makes you feel tight.

Vacation....I'm going to Daytona, Florida. YEAH!! By myself for 4 days of total relaxation and no demands on my time. Sounds heavenly doesn't it. I was really thinking I wanted an exciting vacation where I'm out at the bars, dancing up a storm, and flirting....but after my long weekend in Charlotte over memorial day, I'm partied out. That was enough excitement for a few months anyway. I'm ready for a relaxing vacation. I plan to get up early each morning. Perhaps walk on the beach as the sun comes up and before it gets too hot. Go back to my room for a shower and maybe a nap. Spend all day on the beach reading and people watching. Late afternoon, get cleaned up and go to a nice restaurant for a cocktail and appetizer. Walk along the boardwalk and see the sites. Last time I was there they had entertainment on the boardwalk...fire breathers, dancers, and mimes. I also may meet an Internet friend of mine one evening for a meal. We're both a little leery. We're great friends (possibly more) online but don't know if meeting would ruin it. And....yes it would only be for a meal. We care a great deal about each other and don't just want a fling.

Well....I got to get out of here and do somethng other than play on the internet.

2008-05-26T22:00:00.002-04:00

After the mini, I kind of slacked off. And then we got extremely busy at work. So, I haven't made time for a lot of exercise. Luckily, the last fill in my band has dimmed my appetite greatly. I'm down 5 pounds for the month already with a week more to go.

I was so excited to get back to the elliptical after the mini. All through my training I only walked and ran. My first time back on the ellptical I did 30 minutes and was just dripping the sweat. I was able to average 13:24 a mile on it.....something I can never do when I run.

I'm fired up to start logging the miles again. I went to North Carolina this weekend and just felt fabulous. Losing almost 30 pounds has done wonderful things to my self confidence. My friend Paula and I met two guys from Florida last year at the uptown Charlotte festival. Well, we met up with them again this weekend. We partied our assed off. I danced and flirted more weekend than I have in the last two years. We went to Coyote Ugly after the festval. That place was a real pit but lots of fun. The best thing is I spent hardly any money this weekend. My part of gas was $79, the hotel was $45 because we had two free nights and the guys paid for everything the two days spent around them. No...we didn't spend the night together. In fact we stayed in hotels 35 miles apart. We were staying at the $90 dollar a night Sleep-in and they were staying at the $250 a night Omni.

My endurance is great too. I went to the Nascar race and spent lots of time on my feet. Saturday night, we spent 9 hours at the festival either standing or dancing. Last year, I was exhausted and spent most of the time sleeping on the way back home. This year we partied more than usual and I jumped out of bed ready to take on the day. I even tried my hardest to workout on Saturday morning. I headed to the fitness room right away. Darn, everything was broke. The TV didn't work, the resistance on the recumbent bike was broke, the stepper's battery was dead and the only light bulb in the room was flickering. But I didn't give up I went back to the room, put my swimsuit on and swam laps.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone.

2008-05-13T20:59:00.001-04:00

226 pounds this morning. I seen that number right after the race last week but I was dehydrated. Today, I thnk it is "real".

I booked a summer vacation. Yeah. 4 days by myself with sun, sand, lots of reading and hopefully a little alcohol. Pure relaxation. Of course, I want to lose a little more weight by then. I leave Jume 22nd.

Today, I consumed 1235 calories and walked 4 miles.

2008-05-04T21:30:00.002-04:00

Here goes my race report.

First I parked at least a mile away. There were people parking even farther away than me so I parked thinking I couldn’t get much closer without getting in a big jam. Found my corral and got in line at about 7:00. Time really went fast. I seen two runners dressed up as Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar. Also seen a man carried what looked like a 4 month old baby on his back in a carrier. Later at the track I seen them again and the wife was carrying the baby in her arms. I couldn’t really hear the start of the race back in Corral Z but the crowd started moving a little after 7:30. Made it to the start line at 8:02. I expected that after all there were 35,000 particpants.

Mile 1- I jogged a good part of the first mile (my jog was some of the walker’s walk. I’m not blessed with long legs!) Time 15:29

Mile 2 – Again jogged for the most part. Took the time to get out the camera and take a picture of the elephants at the zoo. Time 15:54

Mile 3 – Fast walk for most of it with a couple burst of jogging around slower people. Time 15:57

Mile 4 – Again a good mix of jogging and walking. Time 16:35

Mile 5 – Slowing down now. Now, I’m down to walking in only. The sun is beating down and it feels humid. I also start feeling a twinge of pain in my left calf. It’s an odd pain and in the calf where I had my blood clot. Slightly worried but I plug on. I probably needed more stretching time. We entered the Speedway around 5.8 miles. Took the time to take lots of pictures. Time 17:31

Mile 6 -8 – These miles kicked my butt. It was now around 9:45 – 10:30ish. The sun was beating down on the black asphalt making it very uncomfortable to run. Stopped at the porta john which took about 5 minutes. I was never so happy to leave a race track. At some point at the track, my sock on my right foot stated slipping down to my heel causing a blister. I also develop what feels like a sinus headache. I think I should have ate more than a fiber bar and should have brought something to eat or a gel. I was also reminded that I hate Gatorade. Times: 18:45, 21:45, 18:16

Mile 9-12 – Just in survival mode now. I’m so happy that the bands and spectators are still on the side of the road cheering us on. As bad as I’m starting to feel, a smile never left my face. I’m doing this. I have a couple mantra’s going though my head to keep me going. I see a couple men that stopped at a carry out walking and drinking beer. I’m thinking a beer would make my hurl at this point. The last sip of Gatorade made my stomach roll. Luckily no need for another pit stop! Around mile 11, a man wearing full firefighter gear and carrying a oxygen tank on his back runs by. I’d be dying in that suit. Times: 19:07, 18:51, 19:05, 19:32

Mile 13 – This had to be the longest mile. I’m having visual depth perception problems because I can see the ¾, ½, and ¼ to go markers but it feels like they keeps getting farther away. I actually jog some of this mile because jogging feels better on my back than walking. But my walking is getting slower and slower so I don’t make up any time. I’m just glad that it likes like I’ll make the 4 hour time limit. Time: 20:19

Finish – Instead of speeding up, I slow down. Heck, with running though the finish, I’m just so excited that I made it. At the last minute a woman with an air cast on her left leg passes me. LOL!! End time: 3:58:47 according to my GPS. YEAH!!!

There’s lots of room for improvement. I think I’ll concentrate on training for some 5K’s. So, I can work on pure running. During training I could run 3/4 mile, walk ¼ mile for 4 miles. My training went out the window during the mini. I was just trying to dodge around people at the beginning of the race and at the end I was just in survival mode. Once I got half the banana and a cookie ate my headache went away. I recovered for about 45 minutes, bought a t-shirt and then trekked back to my car. I had this awful fear that my car would be broken into. The parking garage I parked in was deserted and didn’t look like there was any security. Yes, I’m a small town girl and hate the big city.

Luckily, not too much pain today. I have a small blister on my right heal and just some dull glute pain. (Painfully to sit on the toilet kind of pain.) I’m taking some ibuprofen. I heard a women talking about never wanting to do the mini again. Her friend said the mini was like having a kid…that day you swear you’ll never do it again. But some how the pain dulls and you find yourself signing up again. So, don’t ask me today but in 6 months I’ll probably sign up again. Thanks for listening. I know this is long but it’s my first race report!

2008-04-15T22:07:00.001-04:00

Here's the recap of how my mini-marathon training has been going:

Okay, about 6 months ago, I got a hair-brained idea that I could run a half marathon (13.1 miles). I have many online friends that run. And with thier encouragement I signed up to do the Indy-Mini on May 3rd. I knew I could never really run it but I thought between running and walking I'd finish with a respectible time. I started training in February and did great. Then at the first of March I was sidelined with sciatic pain. With muscle relaxers, stretches and electric stimulation I was walking upright again after two weeks and in time to go on vacation. Basically, the month of March was a wash. So, the month of April has been a whorl-wind of training. Now, my goal is just to finish. There is a 4 hour cut off. At this point, I'm walking 6 miles in 1 hour, 50 minutes and I can run two miles in 31 minutes. So, I think I can make it if my back holds out. So, everybody keep me in your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. (I'm going to need it!)

2008-04-02T21:32:00.002-04:00

Not much change here. Just extremely busy at work, doing taxes, working on the town business and trying to fit exercise in. Luckily, I'm so busy that I have no problem falling to sleep at night. I'm also on a mission to get my house spotless. I'm the town clerk and all the town records for the past 4-5 years are in my house. What a mess! Well, I finally got permission to set up an office in the town building. So, as soon as I get the computer armoire put together and move the mess down there, I get my office back/tv room/exercise room back. Right now, it's just to depressing to go up to that room. I don't function in choas well. It's part the reason/excuse I didn't use my treadmill that much this winter.

Anyone reading at all. I feel so alone.....(drama queen). Please leave me a comment!

2008-03-22T10:17:00.002-04:00

I'm such a ditz...it's only my 5 month anniversary. That makes me feel alittle better about my results. I'm still at turtle pace though! I honestly don't care except when people constantly ask me how much I've lost.

2008-03-22T09:22:00.003-04:00

Okay, almost 6 months later and I've finally lost 20 pounds. Anyone reading this and contemplating lab band surgery, don't let this scare you. These results are not typical. I'm what the lap band community would call a "turtle".

I'm happy with my results because

It's 20 pounds I would never have lost on my own. In fact, I probably would have gained 10-15 pounds over the same 6 months period. (winter and holidays)
I feel like I just recently got to the right fill level to lose
I'm still learning and struggling with emotional eating. I get so mad when I want to EAT and my body doesn't let me. But I'm working on that and it's getting better.
I've learned so much in this 6 months
With only 20 pounds gone, I feel so much better physically.
I'm starting to feel attractive...despite some pictures to the contrary. Actually comparing my October Charlotte race pictures to my March Bristol pictures I can tell a difference.

Tomorrow will be my 6 months bandiversary. I'm six pound from being out of the extremely obese category. YEAH! I'll try to post some measurement results tomorrow.

2008-03-18T21:08:00.004-04:00

Nothing like pictures to bring you back down to earth. I was feeling attractive and flirty this weekend. I went to Bristol for the NASCAR race. We had a group of guys who always camp beside us. And I got hit on all weekend by one of the guys and was really attracted to one of the other. I was feeling on top of the world. Then, today I printed out my pictures..URGH!!

This one is hideous but a very bad camera angle too. How many chins can you count?

This wasn't too hideous. BTW, the rat is named Ralph and everybody in the therapy department takes it on vacation with them.

2008-03-08T14:41:00.002-05:00

Out of commission.

Exercise has been really bad this week.

Monday-had council meeting in the evening.
Tuesday- power went out at work and home. Worked 10 hours trying to keep residents warm, fed and entertained. Spent the night at my mom's who had power. Didn't sleep well.
Wednesday - power still off at work. Repeat of Tuesday at work. Came home exhausted. Luckily, my power was on and I got to catch up on my sleep in my own bed.
Thursday - stepped out of my car at work and instantly felt pain shoot down my legs. Sciatic nerve pain. Got worse as the day went on. Borrowed a Xanax from my step-dad to sleep that night.
Friday - Still in pain. Went to the doctor and got muscle relaxers & anti-inflammators. Stopped at my cousin's and she massaged my butt (literally, anyone that has had this pain knows) I did work but the pain got worse as the day went on.
Saturday (today) - Slept like a baby high on muscle relaxers but was in so much pain I could barely get out of bed this morning. It's loosened up a bit and I think I could actually get on the treadmill and take a gentle walk. It might help. I don't think it could hurt any worse.

At least while I'm out of commision, the Y is closed and it's too nasty out to walk outside. Until 4 this afternoon we are under a Blizzard warning. We got hammered last night. My driveway is drifted shut. I certainly can't shovel with my back the way it is. I'll just sit tight until some one takes pity on me and clears out my drive. Only emergency vehicles are allowed on the road at the moment anyway. We're under a level 3, meaning if you not a emergency worker you can be arrest if you're on the road. If I have to get out by tomorrow, I'll put the Jeep in 4WD, put the pedal to the metal and force my way out of the drive. The drifts look high but I think I could hammer my way out if I had too.

I'm trying my hardest to get through the day with out eating everything in the refrigerator. Think I'll take a nap this afternoon to keep myself out of the kitchen. The muscle relaxers are certainly making me drowsy. It's not like I don't have lots of other things to keep me busy.

2008-02-26T18:32:00.002-05:00

I exercised again!!

15 minutes on the recumbent bike and 30 minnutes on the treadmill.

My time in the treadmill was spent by walking for 3 minutes at 3.3 miles per hour and then jogging 2 minutes at 3.8-3.9 miles per hour. Repeat 5X. I averaged a 17minutes, 20 second mile. I need to "run/walk" a 18:10 mile for 13.1 miles for the mini-marathon. My plan is to work on speed during the week and doing the long "run/walks" on the weekend. This weekend I have to do a five miler. Or should I say I get to do a 5 miler.

Now...I'm exhausted.

2008-02-25T20:56:00.002-05:00

I finally exercised. And it was really good. I've been sick since last Wednesday with a head cold. Last night, I decided I wasn't going to be sick anymore. I got up early and pretended I was well and ut worked. It helped that my head was clearing up too. LOL! I just have occasionally runny nose and a horrible cough. Anyway, I went to the Y after work. Mainly because I had to meet a friend in the parking lot because I sold her some Bristol tickets. I decided to meet her there so I wouldn't have any excuse not to go inside. It was the best workout I've had in awhile. I worked on my walking speed. I still have this mini-matathon that I'm "suppose" to be training for. I know I'm not going to be able to run much of it. I think I can make the time deadline if I can get my walking speed up and mix little jogs in along the way.

Eating is going great. I'm just not hungry. At least phsically hungry. Occasionally, I get some head hunger when I'm bored and anxious. Usually I can destract myself with some thing else. I can't believe how little I can eat and be full.

That being said I can't get below 232. The elusive 30 pound loss seem out of reach. That's why I've added exercise back in to the mix.

Is it bad to watch A&E's Intervention while drinking a cranberry and vodka cocktail? hehe...

2008-02-18T20:56:00.000-05:00

Good day.....except I've pushed the limites of my band. And it revolted. Twice...yes....twice. I got stuck by eating too fast, too much. I coughed up lots of flem. TMI...but the truth. I need to get off my lazy ass and exercise. I had a busy day but my church meeting didn't last as long as thougth it would so I had plenty of time to exercise this evening. But I chose to sit here and watch TV. PSSTTT!!

2008-02-17T20:58:00.000-05:00

Reasons I want to lose weight/Advantages of losing weight list

I want to be confident enough to date
I will be more "visible" to other people
I will get off my medications
I will stop putting off things until I'm thinner
I will have great sex again.
I will be happier when I look in the mirror
I will feel like an athlete
I will have more energy
I will be able to exercise without unusual aches and pains
I can enjoy shopping again
I will feel lighter on my feet

2008-02-17T20:26:00.000-05:00

I think I'm really there! ~~Finally~~
I weight is coming off again. And I don't have hardly any desire to eat. The desire I do have is head hunger or boredom. I haven't exercised in a few days just too busy and lazy.
Here's how my weekend went:

Friday- I was just exhausted from the week. Lounged on the couch watching programs that I DVR'd all week. I discovered a two new programs.......Like I need to watch anymore TV..hehe. First, on BBCA is "You Are What You Eat". Ewwww.. the English eat some yucky food. A lady (nutritionist?) overhauls people's diet over a two month period of time. Then, TLC has "How to Look Good Naked". I like it because they take women of any size and make them feel good about themselves. It also points out how wacked women's perception of thier bodies are. Ended up in bed by 10:30, read for an hour and zonked out.
Saturday- Up at 8. I read the first chapter of the Beck Diet Solution. I needed to make my list of the advantages of losing weight. I got out my scrapbooking tools and made a little book of my advantages. I'll post them in a seperate post. This actually took 2 hours. Then the phone company came to fix my phone and DSL. It was out for a day. Showered and washed dishes, then went to my mom's to spend time with my niece. Then, I went to my cousin's for her step daughter's birthday party. I didn't eat much. I tried a piece of ham. And it got hung up. Had to run upstairs to the bathroom and spit a liitle mucus up. Nothing major. I think I didn't chew good enough and it was a little on the dry side. Stayed there till after midnight.
Sunday - Up early for church. Then stopped at my mom's. When I got home the wind was blowing the soffit under the roof off the house. I lost some siding a last week. Ran over to my landlord's and she already has someone set up to do the siding so he'll give her an estimate for the damage today. We might as well wait anyway. There is more wind in the forecast. Spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch, watching the Daytona 500. I got a burst of energy a little while ago and spent 25 minutes power cleaning the kitchen, bedroom, and living room. Washed a two sink full of dishes, wiped down the counters, ran the vacuum in the livingroom, made my bed, and folded a load of laundry. If I'd do that for a couple hours, I'd have a spotless house. But I lose focus after a while. LOL

I'm getting ready to go to bed. I need to get up by 5 tomorrow. I want to exercise before work. And I also have 3 employees off tomorrow so I could easily have a 10 hours day. Then I have a meeting at church at 6:30. Shoooo! I know people have days like that all the time but I'm not them. I prefer to have lots of free time. Tuesday doesn't get much better. I have a lapband support meeting in Dayton. I'll get in bed as soon as I post my list.

2008-02-13T21:16:00.000-05:00

I had a fill yesterday. I think this may be my sweet spot. It may be to early to tell but I'm satisfied with a lot less. I almost thought I was too tight this morning. I took my vitamins on an empty stomach and about 5 minutes later I got sick to my stomach. I gagged several times but in the end I only had a little bit of spit come up. I was okay when I ate a 1/2 cup of pudding later. That 1/2 cup really filled me up. I'm belching a lot. Sorry to be so graphic but this is the really life of a lap bander. From what I've heard the belching is pretty normal. I'm reminded that I need to chew, chew, chew.

I hope this speeds up my weight loss. I'm starting to feel like a failure. People have stopped asking me if I'm losing. My mom asked and you can hear the apprehension in her voice when she asks. I had such a dramatic change in the first few weeks. Loss 19 pounds in about 10 days. Then a gain during the holidays. I haven't been on track for more than a few days since the holidays. I feel like at the right fill level I can lose again. Plus I'm doing a lot more exercise. Training for my half marathon. I have 2-1/2 months till i need to "run" 13.1 miles. Geesh! I'm not worried about the distance so much as the speed. I can walk it if I haven't mastered running by then but I have to be able to walk it fast. There is a 4 hours time limit.

2008-01-24T22:25:00.000-05:00

okay...I've partially snapped out of it. Thanks in part to Candy-o's nice comment and a biggest loser contest at work. I haven't exercises all week but I have got my eating under control. And I'm taking my vitamins everyday. I've averaged 1547 calories from monday till today (thursday). We're doing biggest loser at work. I debated on joining because I thought I had an unfair advantage with my band. But the more I thought about it and talked with others, I decided this is hard work and if I win it's becasue I deserved it.

Honestly, I hope one of my other co-workers wins. She 22 and very obese. About 150 pounds overweight. She's miserable and so depressed. I'm trying to cheer her on. One of our alzheimer's patient makes a comment about everyday about the "fat lady in therapy" (very loudly I might add) and my heart just breaks for her. She's so young and I hope she can do something about her weight now. Instead of waiting like I did.

Part of my depression is my overwhelming loneliness. Yet, I have no desire to get out and met people. I just want to hibernate until this weight is gone. I crave the day I get male attention again. But just not now. I wouldn't know what to do with attention right now. Growing up when I got attention from the opposite sex I thought the boys may be playing a trick on me by acting interested. Not that it ever really happened. But I was always afraid it would happen. I didn't get teased at all in school. I was always the sweet quiet girl. Nobody bothered me.

I've got to get back to my running groove. I'm panicking over this half-marathon and it's 4.5 months away. I'm afraid I'll procrastinate.

2008-01-20T19:28:00.001-05:00

Okay....I'm feeling a little depressed. I thought this was going to be easier. I lost virtually all my weight on the liquid diet 10 days before surgery and have been up and down since then. I thought that this last fill (jan 10th) was the answer. While I feel restriction when I eat what I should be eating. Most of the time i'm ignoring what my body tells me and doing a lot of emotional eating. Today I had two bowls of ice cream. I know I shouldn't have ice cream in the house. But I keep thinking I can eat like a normal person and not over do it. NOT! I'm a food adddict. Full isn't enought for me. I have to eat too the point I'm sick. I'm too lazy to get to the bottom of why I do this. I need to buck up and get my life together. Here I am 37 years old. Alone. I need to grow up and quit acting like a baby.

I haven't done anything this weekend but sleep, read and watch TV. So, is this okay? Why do I feel so guitly when I do this. I guess it's because I have a lot of things I should be doing like working out, catching up work stuff, working on my second job stuff, and cleaning house. I feel guiltier when I go back to work and my co-worker ask me what I did all weekend. They all have kids and don't havethe free time I have. It also makes me feel like I'm sitting in this house and letting time pass me by. On the other hand, it's 8 degrees outside. I don't feel like going out of the house. I deserve down time. Being fat all my life, I guess I'm afraid of being labeled lazy. Even if I'm the one doing the labeling.

2008-01-08T21:22:00.000-05:00

Work has been incredibly slow and we work on an efficiency requirement for our deptartment so I've been taking a lot of unpaid time off. It's hurting my pocketbook bad but I'm enjoying the time off. I'm trying to save my PTO pay for an actual vacation.

Because of all this time off, I got to the Y at a non busy time today. Did 20 minutes (3.6 miles) on the recumbent bike and 1 mile on the crosstrainer. Then, I got the bright idea that I was going to see how hard it was to run on the treadmill. I need to get started sooner or later. Anyway, I started with a 3 min walk/1 min run mix. I only did 15 minutes but it's a start. And it really didn't feel that hard. My heart rate shoot up though. Just for fun, I calculated how I would finish the mini-marathon if I kept the pace I set today. I'd finish in 4:05. If I can do that now....in 4 months and (hopefully) 20-40 pounds less, I'll be in good shape to make the deadline. Our local WalkAmerica walk use to be 12 miles and I walked (no running) that under 4 hours. When I first signed up for the mini, I was afraid of that time limit.

Also, I meet a lady at the Y that has the lap-band and lost 80 pounds. I really believe it was the hand of God that lead us to meet. I'm not usually there at that time. I usually have my MP3 player on and don't talk to people. I'm in my own little world. But today I left it in the car. She told me that there is local support meeting that I could attend. (My surgeon's support group is 40 miles away and not convienent). Also, this lady seemed really down. She had complication that resulted in a second surgery and she's been unable to hold a job due to depression. We talked for about 20 minutes and she said I made her day. Even with her complications, she said she didn't regret her surgery at all.

2008-01-01T22:33:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post.

No weight loss resolutions this year. I think with the correct fill and the hard work of training for the half-marathon that the weight will come off. I am setting a few monthly goals.

I will not charge anything on my credit cards this month
I will log 80 miles in exercise this month. (I did 63 in Dec)
I will start jogging this month.

I already got a good start today. Walked on the treadmill tonight for 30 minutes of which I jogged 5 minutes. It was a very slow jog and I only logged 1.6 miles but better than nothing. Tomorrow, will be better because I'll be at the Y.

2007-12-24T21:25:00.000-05:00

Christmas eve and no exercise....
I've really been hitting it hard the last few days with workouts but today there just wasn't enough time in the day. Somethings just have to take precedent. I was just about ready to jump on the treadmill when a good friend called and wanted to come over to exchange gifts. She stayed till it was time for me to go to church with my family. Now, it's 9:30 and I haven't ate supper. So, I'm going to get off here and eat a little snack to tide me over till breakfast. The scale is starting to move down again. I was seeing reading as high as 239. I think I am feeling a little more restriction but I'm still going to get the fill on Jan 10th. I don't think I've hit the sweet spot.

Sweet spot=

being full on 3-4 oz of protein and 1/2 cup to 1 cup of produce
being satisfied with 3 meals and one snack
staying satisfied for 3-4 hours between meals.
not searching for food because I'm hungry.

2007-12-23T13:34:00.000-05:00

Okay...so the first fill hasn't really done anything for me. I have to chew more because I've had a couple episodes when it felt like something was going to get stuck. But it went on down. No PBing. I'm still eating to much. And not staying full. So I go back on Jan 10th for another fill.

I'm thinking I also have to be more vigilant too. I think I've taken on a attitude that the band is going to do all of the job and I don't really have to watch what I eat. Wrong. I still have to make better choices and listen to my body. I definitely know when I'm full because I usually start burping. But I've ate so unconsciously for so many years that I don't always pick up on it and keep eating. I really have to get into some new habits. Possible give up eating in front of the TV for one.

2007-12-13T21:41:00.000-05:00

I had my first fill today and went to a support meeting.

First the fill - well,.........it was a tad bit uncomfortable. Not horrendous but not a piece of cake the way others have described it. The needle was bigger and longer than what I was expecting. It didn't hurt so much going in but coming out felt like my insides where being sucked out. (slight exaggeration!) I laid down for the poking part then sat up with the needle still in to swallow some water. I swallowed easily till I got to 1.5 cc's. Then I started burping and could feel a little pooling in the back of my throat. So, he backed it down to 1 cc. It didn't even take 10 minutes all together.

My fill was at 11:50 and the support group didn't start till 4 in a town that is 60 minutes from home so I decided to take the day off and Christmas shop. Because I was away from home and my fill was right before lunch I stopped at Steak and Shake and got a yogurt smoothie. It actually lasted 3 hours as I was coming in and out of stores Christmas shopping.

I wasn't hungry tonight but seeing as my calories weren't very high, I ate about 1/3 cup of mashed potatoes tonight. I thought if I didn't I'd wake up in the middle of the night hungry.

Nutrition will be better tomorrow while I continue on some soft foods. Today was a fluke because I was rushing around with my fill, x-mas shopping, support meeting and a hair cut this evening.

Forgot to say the support meeting was great. Jean, our leader, is phenomenal. She had gastric bypass herself but is very educated in the band protocol. She is also hilarious. She genuinely cares about her patients.

I'll report more later on yhow this fill is going.

2007-12-02T13:03:00.000-05:00

I'm slowly getting back to where I was pre-thansgiving/pre-"I have no restriction, I can eat everything again" days. I turned down donuts and muffins this morning at church and only had some skim milk. Yes, at this point I can eat breads, muffins, and cake. No problem with them going down yet. I'm hoping for a little restriction after my fill December 13th. I've been really busy at work and haven't worked out all week. Yesterday was a bust too because I had church stuff to do. Like decorating for Christmas and finding the advent readings. I really need to get into the holiday season. I don't have any decoration up here at home or any presents bought. The most I did was get out my x-mas cards and make a list of people I need to send cards to. Hope, I haven't stated them either just a list. LOL!! I never keep my mind on a project long enough to finish it. I know it's not funny but I always joke around that I have adult ADD. C-YA

2007-11-24T21:14:00.000-05:00

About the support meeting: I went to one on Tuesday before TG. My counselor was very impressed with my loss. She said with my short stature and body type she doesn’t see that big of a loss so soon. I voiced that I was at a standstill and felt like I was taking in too much food. She reminded me that this was a typical time that people stop losing or even gain. See, my band doesn’t have any fluid in it right now. So, it isn’t tight around the stomach. Right after surgery, your stomach is swollen and irritated so it feels like you are restricted. That’s why I couldn’t eat much right after surgery. Now, my stomach is virtually healed and so I can eat anything I did before. At my doctors office they do the first fill at 6 weeks. When they fill you, they put fluid in the band to make the ring around you stomach expand inward. As you eat food fills the upper part of your stomach and you get full faster. The food slowly filters down into your lower stomach and is digested. So, until my fill I have to be very careful with what I eat. The best advice I’ve heard is just because you can eat it, doesn’t mean you have to.

2007-11-18T21:34:00.000-05:00

Sorry, i haven't been posting. Just a busy time of the year. Tuesday will be 4 weeks post-op.

I'm eating everything but in much smaller portions, of course. I've already had one PB episode. It was because I was in a hurry and didn't chew well. I think my biggest struggle is not drinking during meals. I was the kind of person that could drink 2-3 glasses with my meals. Luckily, my co-worker are looking out for me at work. They keep catching me drinking when I forget.and they offer to split meals with me when we go out to eat.

I've lost 19 pounds since stating the pre-op diet but I've been stalled for over a week. I think my body is changing though. My theory is at first my body lost water and now it's starting to lose fat. I have a taninta scale with fat %. At first I was losing weight but the fat % went up and now I'm staying steady but the fat % is going down. While the fat % has never been incredibly accurate, I've been able to use it to see trends in fat gain and loss. So, I think I'm going in the right direction.

I'm not scheduled for a fill til December 15th. I'm going to have to be very careful till then. I'm going to be using Fitday to track my calories.

2007-10-28T16:17:00.000-04:00

Starting to feel "normal" again. I noticed this morning that it didn't hurt so much to roll over and get out of bed. The shoulder pain is starting to subside. And I'm starting to understand when I feel full. I was able to walk 1.5 miles two days in a row and plan on doing it again today. I'm also finding foods that work for me while I'm still in the liquids/puree stage. I'm not a oatmeal fan but can tolerate it. Right now, for breaskfast I take about 1/4 c. unsweetented applesauce, packet of splenda, couple ozs of milk and 1/2 packet of oatmeal. Nuke it and it makes a very filling warm breakfast. I do a protein shake but have to split a whole one in two eating sessions because I can't get a whole one down. I made some chicken soup last night and pureed it. So, that will be my dinner. I also have been eating mashed potatoes, sf jello and sf pudding. I have another week of eating like this. Can't wait to be able to eat more solid foods. I'm a big fish eater (not tuna though) and miss it.

I go back to work tomorrow. At this point I don't know if I'll make it through an 8 hour day. I was exhausted yesterday and ended up sleeping 10.5 hours last night. Yesterday was the first day that I drove to town, went shopping and walked at the Y. I'm guesssing that's what exhausted me. Luckily, I can get away with doing paperwork in my office and attending meetings. I think it'll be another week before I start seeing patients.

2007-10-26T11:35:00.000-04:00

Everything is going wonderfully. Just a little sore. Theback pain has subsided. I'm only taking pain meds at night to help myself relax and sleep. I got on the treadmill yesterday and plan on walking outside today.eating seeml like a big chore right now. It hard work getting enough nutrition in. I discovered that I need to eat warm things in the morning. More later...

2007-10-24T23:02:00.000-04:00

I just got home about 6 hours ago from the hospital Everything went well. Surgery started about 2 o'clock yesterday. I woke up in recovery about 4:30. I hate waking up out of anethesia. I get so panicky. I was sick to my stomach too. They gave me somethng for nausea immediately. I have 4 little incisions and a larger one (about an inch) where my port is. I had a pretty restless night. I finally just got up at 2 and walked the halls. They were pumping me so full of fluids that I kept having to go to the bathroom and it was big ordeal to get unhooked from everything. I have an IV, heart monitor, pulse ox, and inflatable ballon thingies on my legs to prevent blood clots. I finally slept from 3:30 to 6. My heart rate kept falling under 50 while I was sleeping so the nurse came in and woke me up a few times. I think I was scaring her. This morning I had a upper GI, everything went down okay. I had some jello and they sent me on my way. I had about 3 oz of chicken broth and 1/4 cup of vanilla frozen yogurt a while ago. I think I'm full. It's kind of hard to tell. My stomach is make some really weird sounds and LOUD. I can already tell eating is going to be a whole new learning experience. Also, the gas that they fill you abdomin with to do surgery has setlled in my bask and side. So, I've been laying on a heating pad for that. I'm getting around real good. Even stopped at the grocery store on the way home. Some say day three is the worst but I'm trying to stay positive. They say the best thing is to walk, walk, walk. So, I'll be on the treadmill tomorrow.....unless it warms up significantly

2007-10-22T23:01:00.000-04:00

I got a call this morning and they had to move my surgery up to tomorrow. It was that or wait till the middle of Nov and go through the liquid diet again. So, I have surgery tomorrow at 1:30. I can't wait to get it over with. I can't wait to be able to eat something. Even though I won't be able to eat solids for another 3 weeks. I'm one day closer.

2007-10-17T22:41:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted for a while because first I was waiting on insurance approval and then I waited (to long I think) for the office to call with a surgery date. But I lucked out and the surgeon had to cancel his vacation and I have a date................Next Wednesday the 24th. Wow, I barely had time to do start the pre-op liquids. It was either take the early date or wait till the third week of November. I just want to get it over with at this point. The anticipation is killing me. I'm not a patient person. I think I'll be working on this in the next few weeks and months. LOL!

So today, I went for all my pre-op testing: upper GI, EKG, and labs. They also have you meet with the pharmacist, the dietician again, and a representative from the surgeon's office. The liquid diet is killing me. I only consumed 500 calories yesterday. I just could not drink anymore. That even included 3 sugar free fudgesicles, cup of jello, protein shake with milk, flavored water, and 64 oz of plain water. I'll try to get more protein shakes in today. But I have lost 6 pounds after only 2 days.

Beginning wgt./Current
251/245

2007-09-28T20:45:00.000-04:00

I got conformation that the doctor's office faxed all my stuff to the insurance company. so, it could be anywhare from 3 days to 30 days. The office did say if they hadn't heard anything in two weeks they call the insurance company and see wha tthe hold up is.

I have to get this done soon. One of my girls at work is due on Dec 8th. That sounds like a long time but she had her last child 6 weeks early and she's already having pains. Her doctor says if she doesn't take it easy he may drop her to 4-6 hours a day. We will be in a real bind if we are both on lifting restrictions or both not there. We have one other Physical Therapist Assistant and she only works 6 hours a day. I need th esurgery and to be pretty well healed when Karen goes on materity leave.

I need to pray I hear something next week.

2007-09-23T08:12:00.000-04:00

Everything should be going into insurance next week. They are pretty confident that it will be approved. With my Bmi and co-morbidities they didn't even require a written statement from me. And I didn't need a sleep study. Hopefully, I won't need one before my surgery. I've never had any troubles with anesthesia or wakeing back up. I had three anesthesia's two years ago for my kidney stones. The nutritionist gave me lots of paperwork and information. Luckily she knew what she was talking about. A lot of bandsters get miss information about the diet because the nutritionist give them gastric bypass diets. She had me cross out the bypass info on any of my handouts. The only thing i have a problem with is the calcium supplement she said I would have to take. All but one of my kidney stones have been calcium and I was told by my urologist not take calcium. I do get enough in my diet now. I've tracked it on fitday.com and my food diary.com over the years. I love milk, cheese and yogurt. I don't now if I'll be able to get the calcium required after surgery. But you can guarentee I'll be using myfooddiary to track calories and nutrition. Especially, in the beginning just to see what I can take in. If I fall short on calcium, I'll take the supplement accordingly. But I'm not blindly taking a 1200mg calcium pill.

If anyone has ever had kidney stones, you know why! When i was sixteen, I had a kidney stone as big as my doctor's thumb. The cut me on the side about 6 inches. I was out of school for 4 mos. my sophmore year. The recent ones were the most painful though. 6 weeks, a stent and 3 liptotripsies. And I work through it all though because I had too. Not because I felt like I could. I'd work 4 hours, rush home for vicodin, sleep 18 hours and start over. The stent caused the most pain. And if I overdid it there was blood in my urine. Which was everyday. There was a BITCH at work that didn't feel like I was pulling my own weight at work during this time. She gave me a really hard time. Luckily, she was gone before I became the boss or I would have fired her!

Anyway, so I will be anxiously awaiting approval and my surgery date for the next few weeks. Pray that it won't be a long wait. In the meantime I need to get my eating under control. I'm eating everything under the sun. Stuff i haven't ate in years. Geesh, I'm going to have so much more to lose if I don't slow down.

2007-09-16T20:04:00.000-04:00

In my quest to have surgery, I only have one more step before submition to insurance. I go to the dietician on Thursday. I hade a little curve ball this week. I dropped my clearance paperwork off at my PCP to be filled out. As excepted I got a call the very next day because the doctor wanted to see me. I don't blame him. He was on sabbatical for a year and I've only seen the PA this last year. I wasn't sure if he'd be supportive of the surgery or not. So, I really dreaded the appt.

Too my surprise, he was very supportive and thought surgery was a wise desicion. But he wanted to be thorough. So, he had me do some bloodwork. It comes back that my liver enzymes are slightly high. He was almost positive this was cause be a fatty liver which will be helped with weight loss. But just as a precaution he wanted me to have a ultrasound. I was devestated think this was going to hold up my submission to insurance even more. Luckily, they got me in fast. And the doctor called Friday at 7:00 personally and said I have the go ahead. Just fatty liver as he suspected and it wasn't enlarged. While they were at it they checked out my gall bladder and kidney. I have a history of kidney stones so I was very afraid they would find one. I love my doctor. I've gone to him since I was 11 years old. He's even called my on Thanksgiving day one year to give me lab results. He's seen my struggles with weight so he knows I've tried all my life to beat this. I helps to know I have him to support me. He wants to see me in 6 months and I can't wait to be skinnier. And get off my blood pressure meds.

So, the only thing missing is my nutrition eval. I'm hoping that I can get submitted to insurance before the end of the month. And have surgery end of October/first of November. I want to be able to eat some normal foods by Thanksgiving. Even if it's just mushies. LOL Pumpkin pie filling would count as a mushy, right?

2007-09-06T10:26:00.000-04:00

Went to a support meeting today. Very informative even though it was for both Lap-band and Roux en Y. Actually learned why one would chose one over the other. There was a lot of people there that had not made up thier minds on what to get. I met some people that where having surgery in just a few days. Can't wait to see them next month. I also seen a former patient of mine. I treated her while I was doing my clinicals three years ago. I was a hour away from home. The odds of me ever seeing this person was about nill and remembering her about impossible. I've treated thousands of patient since then. She remembered me too.

Okay, I may as well tell you a little about myself. I'm 36 and single. Female. Physical Therapist Assistant and Director of Rehab at a rehabillitaion center. Overweight since 8-9ish. Have obesity on both sides of my family. My father was killed by a drunk driver when I was 8, hence the weight gain. And the pshycological issues that I need to work on with the pshycologist. I tend to be afraid of relationships and getting close. I know I've used my fat to distance myself from people. I'm shy until you get to know me. I'm the kind of person that can be in a crowded room and be lonely. I have a niece whose 3 that I love to death so you will probably hear a lot about her. I'm doing this for her too. I don't want her to remember me fat. So, I better hurry up and start losing. I also hate that I can't keep up with her. She always wants to play. After I keep her I'm exhausted. I also have no confidence when it comes to men. I have never had any problem getting the attention. But I can't imagine getting intimate in a new relationship right now. Men from my past are another story. I have a ex-boyfriend that I recently reconnected with. I don't know where that may go but I'm comfortable with this person. He has never had a problem with my weight. In fact, I mentioned getting rid of this big ole butt the other day and he said no way. The thing is he is skinnier that a rail and I feel really big with him. I use to be able to wear his size 29 inch waist pants. So, that is my goal to be able to get "back in his pants". LOL! Yes, I do have a pair of his swim shorts from ten years ago. He probably doesn't know I kept them. I think they are actually a boy's size medium. Wow...just got them out. They fit my thigh but they are stretchy. On that note...bye

2007-08-31T18:08:00.000-04:00

Went for the psych eval yesterday. The therapist is going to give me the clearance for surgery. I talked with the therapist and gave him my history. Then I took an IQ test, vocabulary test, and then a 165 true-false questionairee about dieting/emotional eating. He looked over the results and then talked about whether I would be a good surgerical candidate. He though I was the kind of person that likes to follow the rules. Meaning I would go by doctor's orders and stick to the pre & post op diet. We also talked about the reason that I overeat and those isssues that I'll have to deal with once i don't have food to self-medicate. I am an emotional eater......it started at age 8 when my dad was killed in car accident. I eat when I'm lonely, bored, restless, need companionship. Anyway, I said I'd get ahold of him when I decide to start therapy. Honestly, I know I need to deal with these things once and for all. I think I'll wait till my deductible is used up. I need to use about 400 more dollars which won't take long with all this pre-op appts. My dietician appt is on September 20th. I'm calling to try to get it sooner. I also have to get my medical history and clearance from my PCP. I have a feeling my doctor will want to see me. I'll try to get a post in here soon with some background in it. So, you can get to know me better. Assuming, someone will ever want to read this.