okay...I've partially snapped out of it. Thanks in part to Candy-o's nice comment and a biggest loser contest at work. I haven't exercises all week but I have got my eating under control. And I'm taking my vitamins everyday. I've averaged 1547 calories from monday till today (thursday). We're doing biggest loser at work. I debated on joining because I thought I had an unfair advantage with my band. But the more I thought about it and talked with others, I decided this is hard work and if I win it's becasue I deserved it.

Honestly, I hope one of my other co-workers wins. She 22 and very obese. About 150 pounds overweight. She's miserable and so depressed. I'm trying to cheer her on. One of our alzheimer's patient makes a comment about everyday about the "fat lady in therapy" (very loudly I might add) and my heart just breaks for her. She's so young and I hope she can do something about her weight now. Instead of waiting like I did.

Part of my depression is my overwhelming loneliness. Yet, I have no desire to get out and met people. I just want to hibernate until this weight is gone. I crave the day I get male attention again. But just not now. I wouldn't know what to do with attention right now. Growing up when I got attention from the opposite sex I thought the boys may be playing a trick on me by acting interested. Not that it ever really happened. But I was always afraid it would happen. I didn't get teased at all in school. I was always the sweet quiet girl. Nobody bothered me.

I've got to get back to my running groove. I'm panicking over this half-marathon and it's 4.5 months away. I'm afraid I'll procrastinate.