While my life is getting better..my mom's is falling apart.

The spark convention has spured such hope in my life. I've exercised 4 days in a row, I've ate healthy for 4 days, stress is managable at work, and I feel fabulous. I even drove back into town tonight to get my workout in at the gym.

But on the other hand, I'm so hurting for my mom. My step dad asked for a divorce 3 weeks ago out of the blue. Well...maybe not out of the blue. Things have been changing over the last year but nothing that we didn't think could get better. Then last week, she found a lump in her breast. Monday she had a ultrasound and mammogram. Tomorrow, I'm going with her to have a biopsy. I'm trying to convince myself that her body is just screwed up from stress and she had a cyst pop up. Don't know if that is possible but that's what I'm holding on too. I'm scared out of my gourd so I can't image how she is feeling.

If any of you are praying people please pray for my mom.

Spark Convention

The Spark Convention was just what I needed to Spark renewed motivation for this journey. It was great to hear all the success stories. Chris Downie, the founder of Sparkepeople, is a ball of energy and you couldn't help feeling energized listening to his enthusiasm. He's created a great company that is truly all about helping people. I like that they are constantly looking for member feedback. I was very surprised by Nancy Hand's presentation. To me nutrition can be a little dry and boring. Nancy is a Registered Dietitian and uses humor to get her point across. I really got the message that I need to plan my meals and grocery shopping a little better instead of eating on the fly.

The best part of the convention was just the energy and camaraderie among all the people. Everybody was at very different levels of fitness but the message fit everyone's life.

All this energy has translated to two very good days for me. Calories have been 1245 and 1388 for the two days. As far as exercise, yesterday, we got plenty of exercise with al the activities at the convention. Today, I walked 2 miles in 35 minutes. I'm working on water as I speak...(er..type).

My goals for this week are to exercise at least 15 minutes everyday, to drink 32 oz of water and keep my calories under 1500.

I'm attending a Sparkpeople Convention tomorrow in Cincy. I use Sparkpeople website to track calorie, exercise, read health articles and meet people. The day starts with a morning walk, presentations from the founder of sparkpeople, nutritionist, and coaches. We get lunch and several exercise breaks including some yoga.

I came down early and am staying in a very nice hotel. I think it may be the nicest I've ever stayed in. I got the convention price of $105.00. I'm use to travelling a lot but I usually travel on a very low budget. For example, when I go to the races with Paula (my BFF), we stay at Comfort inn. She has a rewards card. So we often earn free nights. When we go to Charlotte in October we are staying 3 night...2 of which are free. The night we are paying for is $40.00 each.

This room has a living room area with it's own plasma TV, couch and chair, dining table, fridge, microwave. Then you have a nice sized bathroom. And then the bedroom with another plasma TV and my huge king sized bed. My only complaint......why do nice hotels not have vending machines with snacks in it? Their is a pop machine but no snacks. I didn't really eat supper. Had lunch about 3:00. So, I'm a little hungry. There's a restraunt in the lobby but I don't feel like eating alone. Guess I'll survive until the free breakfast tomorrow. I won't starve.

Guess, I'm not the kind of person that can stand "tight". I went to the doctor today. I was hoping for a tiny unfill. But he took the whole 1/4 fill that I got in August out. Guess, he only does quarters. The first two weeks of fill was okay. But right before my period 3 weeks ago, I tightened up and never lossened up again. I've thrown up 3-4 times a week, had heartburn for the first time since surgery, and I haven't been able to eat anything before noon. I haven't been able to eat solids before about 2-3 in the afternoon. I haven't had solid protein for weeks. Anyway, I just couldn't hack it anymore. The good news is I lost 9 pounds according to the doc's scales. I've learned to eat less along with following the rules better....I just hope I can keep doing that after this unfill. At least, I should have a little more energy now.

If this doesn't work the doctor wants me to call him back and will do a fill under floroscope.

See...I am updating more than once a month. LOL!
I'm going to the doctor on Tuesday. My fill I got 5 weeks ago has really tightened up on me. I spent the 2 weeks around my period bearly eating liquids and mushies. I haven't been able to eat solid protein since i got my fill. It's been shredded chicken, peanut butter, cheese and whey protein. I can't eat in the morning so I've been drinking ensure. And even that pools in the back of my throat. So, I'll probably be getting an unfill on Tuesday.

This week has been very emotional. My step-dad asked my mom for a divorce on Sunday. He moved out this weekend. And they are going to a laywer tomorrow. It's happening so fast. My step-dad is an acholic that has been sober for 20years but overthe last year he's started again. I guess now he just wants his freedom to drink as much as he wants away from my mom's judgement. I just don't understand. I know about addiction. But there is nothing I would ever do to jeapordize my family. There would be nothing that would make me throw away my family. But maybe I'm too idealistic.

It's been really hard on all of us. But especially on my sister. She's worried about telling my niece and her baby not having a grandpa. My sister doesn't remember my dad..so it's really the only dad she's ever know. It's also hit me harder than I thought. I don't tend to let people close. But over the years he has became the closest thing I've had to a dad since I was little.

Can't remember if I mentioned that my sister is pregnant. She's the due the day before I go to Bristol next year. I told her she has to have it early. She insists on not finding out what she's having. My mom and I are trying to convince her to let us find out so we can start shopping for pink or blue. She had sold all her baby stuff last year.

Well...more later