Along with all the posts below, I updated my weight tracker. So, you can see all the damage I've done over the last few months. My lowest was 205 but on the first I was 222. I knew the January 1st weight was partly bloat from too much salty food and alcohol. So as of this morning I'm down to 217. I even had to correct my goals list on the side of the page since I'm no longer 40 pounds down. :( This too shall pass.

NEW POSTS!!!

I just updated and added about 10 posts going back to September. So, you might be inclined to look back...a lot of things have changed over the last few months.


Seen "It's Complicated" tonight. Great movie. Very funny. I don't like Alec Baldwin but have to admit he was very fun in this movie. I went with my mom and my friend Paula. Then we went to Cracker Barrel for supper. Did well with the eating because I just couldn't eat much tonight. I took at least 3/4th of my meal home. My stomach must have been full from the apple cinnamon quakes and water that I smuggled into the movie.

I also had a awesome workout at the Y today. I'm proud of myself for actually going in. There was a swim meet at the Y so there was no where to park. I made a trip around the parking lot and found nothing. I pulled out to go home and guilt got the best of me so I turned around and parked at the dentist office down from the Y. Did 21 minutes on the crosstrainer, 31 minutes on the treadmill, and 8 minutes on the bike. I even ran 10 minutes out of the 30 minutes on the treadmill.

Year in Review

So, should I do the obligtory year in review post?

Since my old laptop crashed last year with all my past weight loss data, I don't even really know what my weight was in Jan 2009. I do know I'm either the same weight or a little higher. I was moving along pretty good until my mom's diagnosis of cancer. I don't want to use that as an excuse but rather a reality that there are more important things in the world than trying to be thin. Life happens and sometimes your hopes and dreams have to be put on hold.

Things I've accomplished:

* Walked/ran another half marathon
* Attented the Cincinnati Spark Convention
* Over came some of my fears to experience some adventures: parasailing and hiking

Things I'd like to accomplish in 2010
* Continue to get into smaller clothes
* Take more chance and step out of the box I put myslef in
* Work harder on running...Run a 15 K in March
* Have some more adventures...traveling maybe skydiving !!???!!

Ate right, got my water in and exercised. Yeah! It helped that I only worked 5 hours today. We are slow. Hate the paycheck but love being a lady of leisure.

Although, my leisure may not sound leisurely to most. I spent 1.5 hours at the Y. 20 minutes on the crosstrainer, 20 minutes n the recumbent bike, 30 minutes starting my running triaing on the treadmill. I ran a 4 min walk/2 min run split. I say leisurely because I took my time changing clothes, took water breaks and didn't feel rushed. Usually, I'm looking at the clock thinking about all the things I need to accomplish at home before it gets to late.

Spent a couple hours tonight on the internet though. Reading e-mail, collecting sparkpoints, and cruising facebook. Going to jump on the wii biggest loser and see what I was suppose to do today. Yesterday was a rest day so I imagine it had a workout slated for me but I think I've had enough today. I can tell my legs are going to be sore tomorrow.

Been MIA lately. the only thing I have kept up with lately is facebook. Been busy with work, christmas prep/parties, and helping mom out. December was a bust for my health.. Completely ignored taking care of myself until yesterday.

Mom had her first chemo treatment and ended up in the hospital for 4 days. Then she had another on on the 23rd and with lots of meds this one had going a lot better. She's even thinking about going back to work. I'm advising against it. She had a pretty stressful job and she just doesn't need that. She still have 2 more chemo treatments and lots of doctor's appts.

Christmas was good. I got money, jewelry, sweatshirt, and gas card. Health related...I bought myself a Wii with the fit plus program and the biggest loser program. I started the biggest loser last night and it is a tough workout. It included push-ups, planks, jumping jacks, tri-cep dips, hill climbers.... TOUGH! I also found a 15K race in Cincinnati at the end of March. I think that would be a perfect distance to train for. If anyone else is interested http://cincinnati. kintera.org/ faf/home/ default.asp? ievent=318888 It's sponsored by the American Heart Association.

Now let's work on making it a great 2010. (It has to be better than 2009)

I found my energy again. I've made it to work by 7:30, had productive days, made it to the Y, cooked healthy meals, and relaxed in the evening. I've even got in the routine of taking care of my skin at night. I've always had the nasty habit of going to bed with my make-up on. Since I've been thinking about 40 creeping up, I've been noticing the fine lines around my eyes. So, I've been washing my face at night and moisturizing at night. I've also been soaking in the tub with some really good smelling bubble bath that makes my skin feel great. It the time of year that my skin dries out like crazy.

Ah...And I've also been logging all my food.

Tired of being tired

I've been totally off kilter with my mom's problems lately that I've really neglected myself. It's been 8 weeks since my step-dad left and 6 weeks since she found her lump. BTW, she is having surgery tomorrow. Lumpectomy with radiation to follow if all goes right.

I haven't put any real effort in working out or dieting. So, I'm ready to get back with it.

I went back to the Y yesterday and did 25 minutes on the recumbent bike and 20 minutes on the elliptical. My diet was good but too many "liquid" calories. I don't do that very often though. And I did shake my booty. I didn't dress up for halloween but it was great seeing all the others. I love to people watch.

Today, started out slow. Thank god for the extra hour this morning. Spent all morning rehydrating and trying to get rid of a headache. Went out walking thinking that I wanted to walk for at least an hour. Well, it felt so good that I changed my mind to "let's see how far I can get in an hour". So, after weeks of not walking or running at all, I jogged a good bit of my "walk". I just took it telephone pole by telephone pole. Ended up doing 3.7 miles in an hour. That's an average of 16:16. The last .7 miles were the slowest with only a few slow jogging stints and my walking was gettting slower.

Mixed bag

I'll fill you in on the latest and greatest in my life.

Work is good. A new employee started today and has been able to relieve a lot of my stress. I manage the therapy dept in a skilled nursing facility. We've been without a Occupational Therapist for 3 months. So, I've had to beg, borrow and steal OT staff from other facilities. There hasn't been anyone "in charge" of my OT department so everything has fallen to me. I now have a OT for a 13 week commitment. That will get us through the holidays. Maybe she'll like us enough to become a permenant employee.

Mom is still just in limbo. She had a ultrasound on the area that showed up on the MRI in her right breast and they couldn't find anything. So the next step is a MRI/biopsy on Tuesdaythe 27th to see if they can find it again on the MRI. I'm hoping it was just a fluke on the MRI and there isn't anything there. I can't believe we have to wait another week. The MRI tech is on vacation. On the husband front, my stepdad wants to come home. He's decided he made the biggest mistake of his life and he's racked with guilty that mom is going through this without him. But mom is sticking to her guns and not allowing him to come home. He hurt her alot and she just can't deal with her marriage problems right now.

My vacation was much needed. It wasn't the best time I've ever had but it was good to get away. The weather was cold and the race didn't have the outcome I wanted. But I started on my Christmas shopping at the outlet mall. And I got to talk to one of my old guy friends on the phone on the long car ride.

The scale is going down! I lost weight during vacation. I can't really explain it but food has just been easy for the last week. I've been getting my water in. Exercise will hopefully follow. Exercise is usually not a problem for me but the weather has me having to shift gears from outside exercise to indoors. Having said that we are having a warming trend and I think I'll walk outside tonight.

Well....that's all for now.

More bad news

I have so much to news to add but no motivation to write it all down. We found out that mom's lump is cancer. We met with the surgeon on Tuesday and he sounded hopeful. We talked about a lumpetomy and radiation. But as a precaution he decided to do a MRI to make sure it was contained to one lump. Well, we got the results today.......another suspicious spot on the other breast. So, she's off to have a ultrasound on thursday and possible another biopsy. No surgery until they have all the facts. At this point, my mom wants me to go ahead and go on vacation. I go to Charlotte, NC every fall for 4 days for the NASCAR race. On one hand, I don't want to be far from home incase I'm needed. On the other hand, I really need a break. We probably won't have any word on the ultra sound until Monday. So, they won't be rushing her to surgery while I'm gone. The next few months may be rough. Maybe I need to get away and have a bit of fun while I can.

I know people go through this every day. Cancer is a common diagnosis. But I'm so scared. I lost my dad when I was 8 years old. So, I think I'm entitled to have my mom forever. My mom needs to be there when I find mr. right. She was always gong to walk me down the aisle. I want to give her a grandchild. I feel like I haven't done half the things I want to with my life and I want her to be there when I do these things.

While my life is getting better..my mom's is falling apart.

The spark convention has spured such hope in my life. I've exercised 4 days in a row, I've ate healthy for 4 days, stress is managable at work, and I feel fabulous. I even drove back into town tonight to get my workout in at the gym.

But on the other hand, I'm so hurting for my mom. My step dad asked for a divorce 3 weeks ago out of the blue. Well...maybe not out of the blue. Things have been changing over the last year but nothing that we didn't think could get better. Then last week, she found a lump in her breast. Monday she had a ultrasound and mammogram. Tomorrow, I'm going with her to have a biopsy. I'm trying to convince myself that her body is just screwed up from stress and she had a cyst pop up. Don't know if that is possible but that's what I'm holding on too. I'm scared out of my gourd so I can't image how she is feeling.

If any of you are praying people please pray for my mom.